Film Reviews by Alphaville

On the minus side, this sequel is a bit of a retread that lacks novelty and surprise, with lots of creeping around waiting for a creature to pounce. Eventually the film just stops, presumably to set up a possible third film in some deteriorating franchise. On the plus side it’s as well acted and directed as the original and has some tense and exciting creature scenes. Like most sequels, it’s not as good as the original, but it’s intelligent, well made, better than your average creature feature and remains very watchable from beginning to end.

A Sky-backed visually-impaired film for the small-screen generation, more a play than a film. Expect long drawn-out dialogue scenes of talking heads. Any good reviews it has received all talk about the concept, as if it’s conceptual art, where lack of skill in execution is irrelevant. The concept, to attract punters, is a feminist revenge thriller. Thrills? If only. The trailer uses fast edits and exciting music to lure you in. Don’t be fooled.

Naturally all the men are stupid, sexist and pitiable, ripe to be put in their place. On its own the script has some good dialogue and might work on stage, but anyone who loves a good movie is in for a long haul to get through this. Something does happen near the end. Ho-hum.

As with her last film, the equally staid Vita and Virginia, director Emerald Fennell has no idea what to do with a camera so just plonks it down and wrings the life out of every scene. She should stick to writing. To see how to make an enthralling feminist film with real characters and big-screen skill, check out Mimi Leder’s On the Basis of Sex.

Gritty US cop movie in the Training Day mould. Nearly every cop (black or white) is corrupt and nearly everyone they’re policing is a low-life (wokists won’t like the fact they’re all black). The rap soundtrack doesn’t help. It’s a depressing view of America, you’ll feel dirty after watching it and you’ll never ever want to visit New Orleans.

The plot has good cop Naomi Harris (hence both black and blue) on the run from everybody. With a perfect American accent, she holds the film together, even if you can probably foresee the climax. Deon Taylor, showing no favours to any skin colour, directs with a sure hand to produce a gripping thriller, but still it’s hard to believe that nearly everyone in it is so awful.

A crowdfunded German film shot in a Finnish forest apparently over three years. The basic premise is that machines are taking over the world as in War of the Worlds, but there’s no plot, no dialogue (for the international market?) and only two characters. A man wanders around the forest with a big gun. Eventually a woman joins him and does the same thing. There are glimpses of the machines and a few explosions, but anyone looking for sci-fi excitement here will be sorely disappointed. Lots of trees to look at, though.

The dedication of the filmmakers and their supporters simply in getting this project off the ground is to be applauded. Sadly, judged by what’s on screen, it’s turned out to be one long bore.

This Die Hard clone is certainly no masterpiece of the genre, but it’s better than many of its ilk, so let’s be kind. Martial arts fighter Ruby Rose, actually less wooden than usual despite what other reviewers say, is trapped in a hotel with a gang of vicious art thieves. These are led by veteran French baddie Jean Reno, here struggling even more than Ruby to infuse the English dialogue with feeling. The plot and characters are more developed than normal in this kind of B-feature and Jean’s struggle with English is a joy to behold. The one big disappointment, surprisingly, is the poorly shot and edited fight scenes. But put your brain and your expectations on hold and it may keep you amused for an hour and a half.

This is an old-fashioned British WW2 drama about female spies. We see them being recruited, trained and sent to France. In other words, it’s a by-the-numbers plot. You can almost predict what’s going to happen next. The film opens with a torture scene followed by the dreaded caption Three Months Earlier – always a sign of a film not confident that it’s first act will keep you interested.

It’s based on true stories of brave women and is well-meaning, but that doesn’t make it a good film. Stolid first-time direction by an ex-producer drains every scene of life and gives it a Sunday evening TV drama vibe that makes it disappointingly flat and uninvolving.

If you know director Kelly Reichardt (eg Meek’s Cutoff) you’ll know her films are deathly slow. As soon as this opens you know you’re in for a long haul, with still shots that go on forever. 15 minutes in and all that’s happened is that someone has picked some mushrooms. Then it gets worse. At least you can see the mushrooms. Much of the rest is filmed in darkness because there was no artificial lighting back in Old Oregon, don’t you know.

The thing is, you see, Kelly doesn’t make films. She seems like a nice person, but she makes anti-films. Which must be why the arthouse crowd like her, because otherwise her success is unfathomable. She even films in the old 4:3 ratio, apparently for close-ups but patently because the big wide screen is beyond her capabilities. She should exhibit in a conceptual art gallery for like-minded souls who think Duchamp’s urinal constitutes high art. A cow appears in a few scenes.

Here’s some advice, Kelly. Open up the screen, learn what a camera can do, learn to compose a shot, learn to edit, stop shooting in the dark, give your actors more to do than mumble and add at least a modicum of life to the occasional scene. In short, watch some real films and go to film school.

The Hong Kong film industry’s 2000 attempt to go international with an English-language martial arts movie fails miserably. The irrelevant plot features two clichéd cops played by pop idols. The acting is woeful and the direction unimaginative. The silly choreographed fights, accompanied by soundtrack grunts, soon pall. Wirework has never been more obvious. Nearly all the best bits are in the trailer, so watch that instead.

If you’re drawn to this by Leigh Whannell’s terrific second and third films as director (Upgrade, The Invisible Man), this first feature will be a terrible disappointment. It’s nothing more than a clichéd jump-scare wannabe horror film. It’s shot mostly in the dark (which people of course explore with torches) and gets its “horror” tag from a “supernatural demon” who may or may not appear out of the shadows or jump from off-screen to a shriek of orchestral muzak. Nothing wrong with the direction, but the whole film is just one long boring cliché. The only thing worth watching is the Making Of featurette about the one interesting scene featuring a car crash.

A family of ordinary Brits, with American accents for foreign sales, are terrorised by silly humanoid monsters that are attracted by sound. Yes, it’s a rip-off of the far superior A Quiet Place. Still, it begins well enough, with people acting unusually normally for a horror film and a welcome absence of annoying American teens (even if the acting is a bit hit-and-miss). Director Scott Jeffrey has an eye for framing and composition that makes for a nicely tense first act.

Unfortunately the film then runs out of ideas and, even with a run time of only 68mins (always a warning sign), becomes repetitive. Some of the characters keep screaming and whining even though the whole premise of the film is that they need to keep quiet. Among a host of other things that don’t make sense is their liking for being covered in blood instead of wiping it off. Overall, a disappointing failure after a promising start, but if you want to be amused and annoyed, it’ll pass an hour and a bit.

An impressive if ultimately uninteresting attempt at shooting a limited-budget film on an iPhone from the Butler-Harts husband-wife team. They write, he directs, she stars. Unfortunately it features only one character in a duff plot that goes nowhere fast. A couple of short talking-head cameos add nothing. Don’t be fooled by the exciting music on the trailer – there’s none in the film. And no excitement either.

She wakes up bound and gagged in an attic and tries to get out. This happens again and again while she has flashes of what’s going on. By the third reset you’ll be getting restless, but even if you FF to the end the explanation will have you thinking so-what.

The whole exercise raises interesting and perhaps worrying questions for the future of film, which makes the Making Of feature on the DVD more interesting than the film itself. A one-star film with an extra star for imaginative use of a technically limited iPhone.

82 minutes of bargain-basement drivel. Little more than a series of poorly shot shoot-outs between cardboard humans and aliens masquerading as cardboard humans. To save money, one such shoot-out occurs in a building, another in a wood that represents an alien planet. A sleepwalking Bruce Willis mumbles his way through it and the dialogue is pure cliché. Example: “With all due respect, Sarge, f--- you”. Any redeeming qualities? Nope.

Four software designers find a portal to alternative universes. Fortunately they’re intelligent young people and not the usual nerdy teenagers you get in too many American films, so it’s fun to watch as they explore the possibilities.

Isaac Ezban is making a name for himself with intelligent, cinematic sci-fi movies that look good and make you think. He directs this with pace, verve and real style.

The plot spirals off in so many directions that sometimes it’s hard to keep up with what’s going on, but it’s both grounded and silly enough to carry it off. We also know, from a perfectly pitched pre-titles sequence, that it’s not all going to be sweetness and light. When you think about it afterwards, that tense, puzzling pre-titles sequence is the one that will stay with you. Four stars? Yes, it’s crazy, but there’s never a dull moment and how many films can you say that about these days?

Another dud from writer/directors Benson and Moorhead. The film doesn’t even begin until after the first 20 minutes. Before then is a pointless backstory with a death-bed scene and a pub fight with bland dialogue and 50% cursing. Then we move to Italy for more swearing with some loutish Brits on holiday.

If you haven’t given up by now, the plot concerns the protagonist meeting a girl who occasionally metamorphoses into a monster. You’d think that at least would be interesting, but the so-called “horror” scenes are short and laughable. Will he stick with her? Who cares?

How this film attracted some good reviews on the DVD sleeve is a mystery. If you’re familiar with Benson/Moorhead films you’ll know they drain the life out of everything they touch. At least they’re not acting in this one, but it’s small mercy.

Despite the spoiler on the DVD sleeve, this is an intriguing sci-fi thriller that really works. Theo James lives in a remote research facility in the woods (beautifully filmed in a snowbound Hungarian landscape), where he builds increasingly human-like robots. He has three, with ages equivalent to 6, 16 and adult. The 16yo is one of the most fascinating AI creations since HAL. Teenagers!

Add to this a number of other interesting ideas, including the title notion of being able to “archive” a consciousness after death and there’s plenty here to keep the mind occupied as well as the eye and ear (a terrific electronic score by Steven Price).

If you’re expecting something as hidebound as Moon (on which Archive director Gavin Rothery was designer), prepare to be startled. This is wonderfully visual sci-fi that bears comparison with Silent Running. Only in the middle section do you begin to wonder if it’s beginning to run out of ideas, but then it winds up again to a brilliant ending that will stay with you.

Avoid tell-tale trailer if possible.