Film Reviews by Alphaville

An in-yer-face tour-de-force of extreme hand-held close-ups that soon becomes too wearing to watch. The plot concerns two brothers, one of them mentally handicapped, who botch a bank robbery. You don’t want to spend time with such despicable characters. The dialogue is atrocious. The direction is amateurish. Pitched as a thriller, it’s anything but. Much of it is a visual mess. It plays like an experimental film by a student who needs more mentoring.

Robert Pattinson is a charismatic actor who makes some interesting film choices, but even he can’t hold this one together.

The usual bunch of Marvel cartoon characters exchange banter, muck around with CGI effects and dispatch zillions of computer-generated baddies. The drama-free plot is no more than a peg on which to hang all the computer-manufactured fights. There’s one long fight between Thor and the Hulk that has less fun, drama and reality than a Tom and Jerry cartoon. The climax is a cliché in itself, with each superhero’s fight scene intercut with the others to eke out the unsurprising result of each.

The dialogue is so abysmal it makes you cringe. It took no less than three writers to come up with clichés such as ‘Choose your next words carefully.’ It would be poor comedic fare even for a Dave original. Jeff Goldblum’s ‘hilarious’ clown-like character is so embarrassing you want to look away.

All this is accompanied by the usual bombastic orchestral score, shown up for its dreariness by two uses of Led Zep’s Immigrant Song, which briefly add some much-needed zest to a couple of fight scenes.

Despite some unbelievably OTT American reviews (see Rotten Tomatoes), Thor: Ragnarok is nothing more than typical unimaginative Marvel fare. If this is the future of blockbusters and film criticism, mainstream cinema is in dire straits.

A team of superhumans has to stop a supervillain and his clone army laying waste to Moscow in this Russian reply to Marvel films. In its favour it’s not a Marvel film, it uses some interesting locations (e.g. the dry Lake Aral) and the baddie has some nifty spider-like killing machines. But, as with Marvel films, the characters are cyphers and the plentiful cgi action soon becomes repetitive. At a lean 87 minutes, at least it doesn’t outstay its welcome, but it’s all a bit rushed, scattergun and inconsequential.

It tries so hard to be hip that there’s nothing here to grasp on to beyond the superficial surface, and that soon bores. Set in Berlin in Soviet times, its cardboard characters are obviously straight out of the pages of a comic book. It takes all the elements of Kingsman and turns them into turgid drama, lacking in humour, action, plot and interest.

MI6 agents Charlize Theron (permanently sour-faced and smoking) and James McAvoy (miscast) beat up sundry Russians. Yawn. To make matters worse, it’s all presented in flashback and regularly interrupted by a debrief in the present that further slows pace and viewer involvement.

And then… after sitting through such lifeless fare for more than an hour, the film bursts briefly into life with one of the most cinematic fight scenes you’ve ever seen. Shot as a single take, it begins in an apartment building and becomes increasingly incredible. Given the astounding choreography and camerawork, it’s no surprise to learn that director David Leitch is a former action director, and this seems to be the main scene he was interested in when making the movie. On the DVD there’s a fascinating extra called ‘Anatomy of a Fight Scene’ that no film buff should miss.

It’s such a shame that the rest of the movie is such a downer, but two stars for that one amazing take.

A peculiar good/bad mixture of a film based on true events little known in the UK, and the less you know about them the better. We spend the first half of the film in cliché land getting to know the all-men crew who fight fires in the Arizona desert. It’s all bog-standard male bonding with lots of family drama and line dancing and ‘love you bro’ schamalz. And do they really have to feminize a fire and call it ‘bitch’?

The firefighting techniques and jargon are nevertheless fascinating, the scenery is gorgeous and plot is obviously building to a huge climax. Joseph Kosinski directs with a real sense of place and community and when the climactic fire fight arrives it packs a visceral punch. In fact its emotional power leaves such an indelible impression that it makes you re-evaluate everything you’ve been watching. A film of mixed merits but a wow of an ending.

The DVD also contains a number of interesting extras, including a moving film commentary by Kosinski and star Josh Brolin that adds to the film’s impact.

Katherine Bigelow used to make interesting films such as the classic Near Dark. Now she’s got side-tracked into message films. Never mind what’s happening on screen, just listen to the MESSAGE. The message here is about some racist white cops terrorising some innocent black victims. The medium? In-your-face docudrama.

We begin with a scatter-gun approach to the Detroit rioting, looting and arson of 1967 then focus in on the racist cops. It’s based on true events and the reality of it is grim, especially when we see the real-life people speak to camera at the end, but the film should be judged on its own merits.

As an historical document it has value, even though parts of it are fictional, but as a film it’s wearing. It would be better suited to a TV documentary. Once we get the gist of what’s happening, you can predict every single beat of the screenplay. Do you want to spend two hours having your expectations realised and getting the message rammed down your throat? As if realising the problem, the trailer makers decided to make the film seem more interesting by showing virtually none of the long, drawn-out central apartment-building section with the cops.

As one producer says on the DVD extras, this film is about the performances. Unfortunately, and not for the first time, main protagonist Casey Affleck is an acquired taste. He acts as though he’s just walked out of a Method Class, but Brando he isn’t. Barely an emotion creases his face. His voice never varies. The deliberately paced direction is equally staid, lacking dynamism. Pointless flashbacks slow momentum to funereal pace.

After an hour something dramatic actually happens. Until then there’s not even been a score to carry us along, but now it’s even worse as we’re bombarded by bog-standard classical and wailing choral music. Please make it stop!

This vastly over-rated film then unexpectedly turns into a mismatched buddy movie . There are even a few humorous scenes, which seem oddly out of place after what’s gone before, but again the plot goes nowhere. Never mind, it’s all about the PERFORMANCES, stupid. To reinforce this point, the making-of featurette on the DVD is a vomit-inducing actor’s schmooze-in. Instantly forgettable.

Twisting, fast-moving spy thriller about a plot to release a biological weapon in London. Noomi Rapace is the CIA agent caught up in one scrape after another as the bodies pile up. Smoothly directed by experienced hand Michael Apted, the film plays like a 70s thriller (Three Days of the Condor, Marathon Man). It’s constantly intriguing and its plentiful action scenes are deliberately and mercifully free of OTT rapid-editing and frenzied in-your-face camerawork.

At times, like 24 on speed, it’s too densely plotted for its 94min run time, and it does lack oomph in places, which is perhaps why critics found it underwhelming on the big screen. Or maybe they just saw the suspense-killing tell-all trailer first. Moral for modern times: stay away from trailers. If you’re looking for an intelligent high-class

This travesty of cinema is based on a stage play and looks like it. Deliberately worded and acted, its emphasis is on script and thespianism rather than any visual interest. As such, it lacks naturalism and dynamism, which renders it slow and contrived. What passes for action takes place mostly on one set (a house) and the talking heads are filmed with a mostly static camera. As to what they have to say, you could fast forward whole screeds of it and miss nothing. The stagey dialogue often goes nowhere.

Many critics give it a good rating, but only because of the actorly performances. There’s a germ of an idea here, but cinema it ain’t. If you’re not convinced, watch the trailer, which opens with the one brief and unnecessary nude scene, as if the distributors know that what follows is backside-numbing.

In this well-intentioned French Afghan War (2014) film we follow a squad of troops as they go about their mission. Some critics found it haunting, but most viewers will find it hard to care. Its score-free, documentary-style approach renders it deliberately undramatic and lifeless. Unless you have utmost patience, it will lose you long before a plot sets in.

Having been conscripted into the German army during WW2, Estonian fencer Endel is now on the run from Stalin’s secret police in Leningrad. He hides away as a teacher in a small rural village, where he teaches the children to fence using wooden sticks. Then the school hears of a fencing competition in Leningrad…

This is a superbly realised and warm-hearted thriller-drama with fascinating teaching scenes, like School of Rock with swords instead of musical instruments. With a suspicious headmaster, there’s an undercurrent of tension throughout as we get involved in the lives of Endel and the children and the plot will hook you in as it builds to an irresistible climax.

A taboo-breaking film about independent young Arab women seeking freedom from reactionary social constraints in modern-day Tel Aviv. Traditional, naïve Nour moves in with girls-about-town Laila and Salma. Cue sex, rape, Lesbianism, drug-taking and chain smoking – a rousing cry for freedom in the face of primitive Middle Eastern male attitudes to women.

A similar British film would be sullied by social realism and Ken-Loach-type politicking, but In Between frees its characters from any agenda save personal independence. It gives them the space to be themselves and gives us the space to become involved in their plights. Unlike the similarly-themed and coruscating Mustang its message will be blunted for some by making its heroines chain-smoking drug-takers, but you’ll soon be rooting for them in their fight for the right to be whatever they want to be. Like Mustang, it’s a character-driven movie that draws in, holds you in its thrall and leaves an indelible impression

An impressionistic, mostly wordless, drama about the Allied retreat from Dunkirk in 1940. There’s little new in its depiction of aerial dog-fights, sinking boats and evacuation logistics, nor any one lead character to root for, yet it works.

An initially confusing time conceit soon works beautifully to interleave events in the air (covering one hour), at sea (one day) and on the beach (one week). The main criticism is that there’s too much intercutting between different story lines. Letting a scene play out in its own time would have better enabled our involvement in it to grow.

Unlike in Saving Private Ryan, scenes of heroism and tragedy are shown in an understated way, given dramatic force by their matter-of-factness, allowing the viewer to supply the emotion. This gives space for the incredible story to speak for itself, aided by a rousingly strident Hanz Zimmer score that avoids his usual pomposity. The movie isn’t a classic but, in the hands of imaginative writer/director Christopher Nolan, it’s a stirring watch.

Godzilla ravages Tokyo while the authorities discuss what to do. Unfortunately they talk and talk. And talk. To call the film dialogue-heavy would be an understatement. It’s more concerned with bureaucracy and politics than with action and thrills. Shots of Godzilla are few, brief and repetitive. There’s no hero or heroine in peril to root for. The ropey monster effects hark back fondly to the heyday of Godzilla films, but this is a hopelessly bungled opportunity to bring the excitement of then to the audiences of now.

What do you want from a Gerard Butler disaster film? Well, a disaster for a start. The title promises such but it never arrives. How about action? Well, there’s precious little of that too. A global warming control system is malfunctioning and Gerard spends the whole movie trying to find out why. He’s also saddled with parenting issues (yawn) and sibling rivalry with his brother (yawn, yawn).

What we end up with is an underpowered plot, clichéd dialogue and prosaic direction by woeful writer/director Dean Devlin. There are a few flash-bangs in the final half-hour, but none are exciting or surprising. An attempt to up the tension with a countdown-to-geostorm finale merely highlights the lack of imagination on show here. Will Gerard save the world? Will the family be reconciled? Will there be cheering? Will you feel nauseous?