Film Reviews by MW

The final nail in the alien coffin. The plot makes no sense whatsoever and insults the intelligence of anyone who watched the previous prequel (which is actually a better film). I'm not sure what Scott was hoping to achieve with this, but the whole thing feels like a second rate copy of the original. There's no suspense and when everyone's favourite Zenomorph does make an appearance, it's a huge disappointment (CGI is no substitute for a dark corridor). Michael Fassbender is in full scenery chewing mode and the rest of the cast are all caricatures and instantly forgettable. It's not terrible by any means, but it's just boring.

As a fan of Wheatley's previous offerings, I was looking forward to this. Apart from the set design (which is superb), everything else feels a bit forced. I'm not sure why the Director chose to make this or what he was hoping to say. It doesn't work as a satire, drama or thriller. None of the characters are particularly likeable, they're mostly caricatures and I wasn't bothered what happened to any of them. It reminded me of one of those "Play for today" dramas the BBC used to make in the seventies. But much, much longer.

Boring, Boring, Boring. There's not much to recommend in this. This should have been a real event movie, instead we get a load of uninteresting goodies and laughably unscary bad guys. No back story telling us how we got here. Old characters mumble through some terrible dialogue on the way to the bank. CGI battle scenes galore, each more dull than the previous one. And Luke Skywalker gazing forlornly across the Atlantic off the coast of Galway.

It's probably not possible to recapture the magic of the original these days, but this doesn't even come close.

Given the director's track record, no prizes for guessing this is a fairly extreme offering. Students crash in the jungle and get captured then eaten by cannibals. The title comes from the original working title of Cannibal Holocaust (a much better film). It's supposedly a comment on the rape of the Environment with a bit of FGM thrown in for good measure. Acting and script are on a par with your local school play. Roth always does good gore though. Alright if you like this sort of thing.

Okay. Confession time. I don't think you should review a film unless you've watched it all. But I just couldn't bear to watch it to the end. It's rare for a film to have no redeeming features whatsoever, but this comes close. Worst of all was Eddie Redmayne, whose performance reminded me of Uncle Monty's drunken turns in Withnail and I. The story was seemingly written by an eight year old asked to write a sci fi film as detention. Boring CGI throughout and Sean Bean complete with Yorkshire accent as an intergalactic soldier/cop exiled to Michigan to raise Bees. Indoors?????? Utterly dreadful.