Film Reviews by SB

Where to start?

Firstly, the description drew me in - my type of thing, time-travel, police procedural, futuristic? What's not to like?

Actually, pretty much everything.

The lead actor was, firstly, FAR too young-looking for the role (we are told to believe she has a ? 10 year old son - only if she got pregnant at age 11) and couldn't have acted her way out of an open paper bag. The role needed gravitas, authority, believability - instead we got Pretty Plastic High-School Princess with the screen-presence of a fat-free yoghurt.

And then the script - I've never served in the police force, but I am rather fond of police procedurals, so like to think I know my way around the Way Things Are Done in the average fictional Police Department. When you're 20 minutes in and already rolling your eyes at the enormous yawning caverns of credulity-stretching plot-holes we (the audience) are expected to swallow ( mine rolled half-way across the country) and supremely unconvincing action, you can only conclude it was written by bored telesales marketers - I would have said schoolchildren, but kids would have more imagination and enthusiasm .

This extends to the characters (barely one-dimensional, no discernible motivation for their actions, no glimmer of intelligence), the action sequences ( violent but somehow unconvincing, with those vast yawning chasms of believability again) and well, the whole plot.

And lastly, you want to know what REALLY bugs me ?? To an almost elemental, molecular level?

Ok, kiddies, I'll tell you.

The action starts in Toronto, part of the 'United Superstate of America' or somesuch wording ( rather Freudian wish-fulfilment there, eh, Americans?) But yeah, fine, it's the future, whatever.

But in the here-and-now? It's actually still Canada. Which is not America. A different country! With different police! And laws! And culture!

So how come there is no trace whatsoever of this in the script? Do the writers actually believe that Canada is in the US? Do they KNOW it isn't the same thing? Why did nobody notice? Why be so blasé about a cop FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY just showing up at your crime scene? Canada IS NOT THE SAME COUNTRY, STUPID, WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY SEEM TO NOTICE??

My niece could do better - and she's 6.

It is said that good TV ought to provoke a reaction - but I'm not sure scorn is really what one should be looking for

The premise is not a bad one - ok, I know it's a kid's film, but .... it drags like the never-ending road to Hell, and when the actual plot starts to get interesting, the scriptwriter unerringly yanks it back on the path of farcical slapstick, mingling comedy of cringe-inducing embarrassment with a trite, 'heartwarming' mix of go-for-your-dreams mixed with children-are-our-future-and-more-important-than-your-happiness for when pratfalls aren't cringe-inducing enough.

The sad thing is, there is the faint echo of a ghost of an interesting idea underneath all this - sadder still to watch it fade into nothingness against the onslaught of shrieking tomfoolery, like watching a sugar-crazed toddler destroy a flower bed.

Did I mention it was awful enough I fast-forwarded to the end to see if the spark of creativity survived?

SPOILER ALERT:

It doesn't

I totally agree with all those who say the main leads were miscast - it's not the worst-scripted film I've watched, and had some nice touches but DeHaan was horribly miscast as the lead role. To pull it off, you needed the rogueish charm of a 1970's Han Solo, or someone with the heft and screen presence of Aiden Turner, for example - not an overconfident 12 year old with the emotional range of a tin of baked beans. Even Cara (no stellar actress herself) outshone him, and visibly cringed at having to declare undying love for the preening non-entity.

I can only assume Besson spent all his money on Clive Owen and Rutger Hauer, and DeHaan was cheap.

Shame.

The film spends the first third or so switching between 2 different and unrelated films. Bearing through it (whilst asking what the hell the two films have in common), you then get the setup which involves a lot of cutting between the characters, and really peculiar dream-sequence scenes which don't make any sense (but seem to imply Batman is psychic), and the setup itself is boring and not really that convincing - 30 second spent actually thinking things through as opposed to I'm-so-damaged macho posturing on Batman's part would have had it resolved.

The fight sequences were competent, and Jeremy Irons was very good as a cynical Albert, but that's about all I can say in its favour. This is NOT a good film, even for those who like superhero action films.