Film Reviews by SG

You know when they do the worst films of all time list, and you are unsure which one to choose? Well now is your chance to have that number one film right here right now.  

It’s full of geezers using slang with no particular plot and characters that don’t gel together - and no locations of Bermondsey except for the first two minutes. The acting is weak, the script is written by someone who is not from London, the violence is theatrical and it’s weaker than a politicians promise. 

If Nick Love and Guy Ritchie got together… they would not come up with any of this. 1/10

well well well, Jackie Chan in good film shocker!

actually expected not a lot with this film but was pleasantly surprised. Pierce Brosnan is good, but he's always good, and steals the show as the malicious politician who is ex IRA. there is more scene stealing ripoff double betrayals than you can shake a stick at. great London locations and extreme violence for set pieces. what more do you want?

Mr Chan is cool as the magnificent MMA Dad on a revenge-kick for his daughter. No messing with this man despite his age of 65ish.

definitely watch this one, its very intense and gripping from start to end. 8/10

Ben Affleck what were you thinking?

A weak reality-bending cop thriller ie a Matrix-lite futuristic yarn, without the MMA action...

not even worth the 90mins tbh, dialogue is turgid and corny. its a 'cop on the edge' flashback thriller - ring any bells?

its better than JAWS4 but not as good as Hudson Hawk.

save your salted popcorn for another Ben Affleck flick like The Town.

2/10 Ben can do better.

Russell Crowe doesnt need to to do this level of movie! He's copying de Niro's last part of his career by accepting any old straight-to-dvd films.

The Exorcist this is definitely not. It's based on a true story - but so was Barbie! Weaker than a cuppa from a cafe.

More cliches than you can bear, this is CGI heavy with little twists and turns to concentrate on.

His Italian accent is quite good tho, better than Dick van Dyke's for sure

4/10 Can do better. SEE ME

this isn't a B Movie it's a Z Movie.

no actual 'star' or MC in this film so its probably the poor CGI bear. OTT violence, XXL blood and over-acting make this a 91min waste of time.

possibly a homage to slasher movies, probably in error

it is, however, Ray Liotta's final film so RIP to Henry Hill

Do you think Brad Pitt has got to the De Niro~Pacino stage where he is doing anything and everything which is undermining his stellar career?

He doesn’t need to do stuff like this!

It starts to alter his previous quality list of films (excluding the one with Angelina Jolie as hitman)

The film itself is basically a trawl  through 1920s early Hollywood where apparently, and I didn’t know this, everything was absolutely crazy and over budget and full of orgies. Who knew?! 

Margot Robbie does a bit of overreacting but that may have been her character.

Tobey Maguire is in it towards the end and he’s playing himself really. 

It’s a film about nothing..

Not a lot happens apart from loads of over-the-top drunken parties with everyone going absolutely crazy to a band.

It doesn’t seem to be a true film or very honest with itself. It’s about as genuine as a politician saying that they respected and observed all the Covid rules during lockdown..

what was Colin Farrell thinking?

slow turgid low level sci-fi that misses the target by miles.

90% unknown teenage actors and Lily Rise Depp (Johnny's daughter) all struggle to pull this film off the floor. it's a teen movie so avoid if you are 19+

its a whodunnit in space but with Blake's 7 props. watched it thru my hands and was relieved after 1'40'' when it closed.

not worth watching at all unfortunately.

This is a good film. I saw it on New Year’s Eve and it touched me.

Loosely based on the Meredith Kercher crime from 10 years ago, this is a deeply enthralling drama. Matt Damon’s character works on an oil rig; he chooses to go to Marseille to try and rescue his daughter from being imprisoned for a murder she says she did not commit. He plays his part extremely well. He doesn’t say much because that is his character, but what he doesn’t say is amplified by his body language and look and actions. He rarely expresses himself emotionally but you know full well deep down he loves his daughter to pieces and will go to the ends of the Earth to help her.

Some of this film is a fish out of water scenario ie he's in the middle of a French city & cannot speak the language and doesn’t understand the culture. It’s a good plot with an intriguing final 3rd to keep you glued to the screen. It’s one of Matt Damon‘s best for many years because he internalises all his emotions. The final scene is a masterpiece in expression… without speaking very much at all.

8/10

what was Jodie Foster thinking?

this film is a lame attempt to copy Luc Besson, with dire results. Even Jeff Goldblum can't save it - it's that bad. OTT violence and turgid dialogue make this definitely a straight-to-dvd movie. it's 2028 and the world has gone mad with violence on every street (deja vu?). amongst this chaos is Hotel Artemis - a sanctuary for criminals to be treated for their gunshot wounds. yes - that. is. it. the sum of the plot with some classic vinyl 60s tunes. and Dave Bautista being a hardman. again.

if i was you i would watch Jaws 3 instead.. ahem

I like the films of Ben Wheatley. This one needs a bit of tidying up but the premise is good. It’s got a touch of The Wicker Man about it, plus a little bit of Hereditary.

Two people set off on a mission into the woods and, guess what, it doesn’t go well! It’s a solid British thriller but the plot is a bit sketchy and doesn’t unravel cleanly. There are quite a few shots from the characters' POV which is exciting and exhilarating. There is ruthless violence and amazing special effects - yes old school special effects and not CGI which is a truly great thing to see, as nowadays when there’s any hint of CGI Dwayne Johnson pops up on screen.

The visual imagery and haunting soundtrack really make this movie. It’s like going to the cinema and feeling hallucinations, it’s that good. But ultimately it’s let down by being a bit muddled and slightly long at one hour 50 minutes. It's got Covid references so have your mask with you.

It’s a good effort though, as usual from one of our finest maverick directors.

6.9/10

Jessica Brown Findlay is great in this - but sadly the film is not.

all the tropes of a horror film appear in this so much its cliche OD.

jump scares CHECK

old fashioned music hall tunes CHECK

quirky zany characters CHECK

old time setting - 1950s CHECK

stern vicar v mild scared locals CHECK

not a good 91mins sadly, i was hoping for a good film and not watching Newsnight

This film is good. It’s a 1944 classic movie with disturbing overtones of modern society. Ingrid Bergman is quality as the paranoid induced woman while her psychotic husband Charles Boyer is chilling. Angela Lansbury makes her debut in movies as the 17-year-old housemaid with a surprisingly accurate London accent. The slow decline into delusion is well staged and the foggy London roads create a smarmy atmosphere. Lots of the sets are very claustrophobic with deliberately too much furniture and the gaslight flickering is a great monument to suspense and fear. It’s a gold-plated black-and-white classic.

Don't watch TOWIE, rent this instead.

Why did George Clooney make this film?

He directed, produced and starred in this futuristic sci-fi which has not had the best reviews - the plot is as big a mystery as the reason why he made it. It doesn't really get going at all, the first 10 minutes and indeed the next half-hour don't really tell you much about what is going on - so it's hard to invest in the characters. He's lonely and something has happened on earth for him to be on his own, although this is only hinted at throughout the film. Some things in the film are just so obvious you have to wonder why they happened. I had to jump bits of the movie in the second half to get to the ending and see what happened because it was too slow to watch. I'm surprised such a high quality actor and director has released this movie, it just doesn't seem 'finished'.

If you want George Clooney in a tight thriller, look no further than 'Michael Clayton' which is excellent.

Overall 5/10 - very wide of the mark

This film has been hyped up - but it does not match up to expectations at all. Good first director effort but acting, dialogue and sound quality all poor. Even the costume and props look unreal and anachronistic. Shame really as I was expecting great things from this as I've read loads of hype on it. Not much of a WW2 story either, it needs a huge budget injection to keep it afloat.

Watch FURY with Mr B.Pitt instead.

Released in 1962, this political thriller really gets under your skin. One year on from this film's opening, JFK died and its leading actor, Frank Sinatra, bought the rights to this picture and took it out of circulation - you will see why when you watch the ending. This movie was then not released until nearly 30 years later - only then was it shown in all its black and white glory. Laurence Harvey is excellent as the disturbed Korean war hero who can't understand why everyone loves him as he knows deep down they hate him. Soon enough, his whole platoon start having flashback nightmares from their tour of duty and it's up to Frank Sinatra's character to work out why. Throw into the mix a scheming conniving mother (Angela Lansbury) who wants unadulterated political power and you have yourself a conspiracy theory. Even Janet Leigh, fresh from Psycho two years earlier, is excellent as the girlfriend of ol' blue eyes.

This is an outstanding film. Just don't even think about playing Solitaire…