Film Reviews by PV

This film annoyed me massively. From the start, it has a pc feminist agenda - incl the predictable child abuse back story (though the idea working men would stand by and let a small child get raped is wrong, and I doubt they'd be working alongside a black man either back then), hinted-at FGM with a hot iron, mucho abuse by nasty men (typical of drama and movies in this metoo mob age), loads of innocent fluffy women, and a 'strong' survivor woman taking centre stage.

OK so it's based on a Peter Ackroyd novel DAN LENO AND THE LIMEHOUSE GOLEM and we have to remember that this author is gay, Jewish and NOT a novelist really, being expert at non-fiction about London. And it shows.

Typical 'grand guignol' gruesomeness as expected from a Spanish director (more yawns).

I loved the actor playing Dan Leno; I thought the leading female failed to convince though. AND for me the twist was predictable, and also unbelievable. To murder someone and dismember them requires the strength of a strong man! That's all I'm saying. Pc reversed roles do not work - just as casting women as snipers and in roles which are 90% men (as in The Bodyguard) is dishonest and fails to convince.

My favourite part of this film - the Music Hall context - and Eddie Ramsden as the UNCLE character was great - until the YAWNSOME predictable 'men are all abusers' trope kicks in.

A film that could have been good but which annoys greatly and grates. 'Political correctness' and gender quotas do not a great movie make. Be warned - much more of this sort of stuff on its way from femi-Hollywood. We all lose as a result.

At first, I thought this movie would be a typical tedious Britflick low-budget horror BUT a great inciting incident, and the following trek to the Swedish forested wilderness gave it an unusual angle. Filmed in Romania by the way, not Sweden.

The ideas are not new at all - haunted house, spooky forest, witch craft etc - BUT the first and second acts were SO effective and being scary and spooky, it doesn't matter! The dialogue is crisp and realistic, as are the characters (except the need to tick diversity boxes with ethnic characters which did jolt me out of suspended disbelief really - just not necessary and one wonder if they were that in the original novel). The trick is to scare with atmosphere - the spooky forest and moving trees, growls of something in there, strange symbols and dreams.

Then the last act somewhat spoils it - but I suppose younger audiences will want the full money shot, to see the beast. It was so-so but a couple of plot holes yawn out during that final third.

However, all in all a decent movie - and one I think lesser low-budget movies like Jurassic Predator, with its opening scene, have stolen from.

The most impressive thing about this film is that it's written and directed by a Dutch guy and filmed in Spain, Germany and Hungary. Nothing in north America, but it convinces. The central baddie character is well played by Guy Pearce, though he is rather comic character.

Awful things about this movie are that it is so slow and overlong, and the 2-dimensional characters, esp the men all of whom are bad and nasty in contrast with all the women who are all victims and innocent in everything in every way. Yawn. The film is divided into several 'chapters' which is a trendy arty device, and relationships between people become clearer as we near the end of chapter 2 - at first, one wonders why the mute woman is so terrified of the new preacher. All will become clear...

This no doubt is a nod to the #metoo boohoo man-hating Hollywood fashion - but on the strength of this, such femi-films should be avoided at all costs. This sort of thing turns so easily into a misandrist cartoon with man baddies and woman goodies, if you're not careful. Is that really what an audience wants to see? I don't think so.

Lots of violence but so what? Doesn't bother me coz it's NOT REAL. Plenty of silly stupid cartoon violence in real comic book superhero films which I detest.

I hated the lush string-based sentimental score for this movie - always prodding the audience to cry at the sight of innocent women abused by nasty men - deeply manipulative, that. Ticking the boxes. Awful music.

One issue I always hate about films set in the 19th century - all the actors look TOO healthy and have perfect teeth - unlike REAL people in 19th century and present America (a British charity works for free to give poor Americans healthcare and dental care too, eg in New Orleans after the flood - their teeth are FAR worse than anything in Britain!)

Watch DEADWOOD the great US TV series with Lovejoy actor Ian McShane to see where they nicked a lot from (incl the brothel/bar, the Chinese trader, the pigs eating the corpses). Watch that for a superior version of 19th century America though that is very violent too.

Watch CAPE FEAR too (both versions) as that was a clear influence.

But if you really want to watch a GREAT movie about an evil preacher, then watch NIGHT OF THE HUNTER directed by the great actor Charles Laughton (Henry V!!! in 1930s film and the hunchback of Notre Dame too).

A BRILLIANT movie yet got such bad reviews on release that Laughton decided never to direct another film. Well done, evil critics. Now where did I put those man-eating pigs...

2.5 stars rounded up.

I hated this movie - but then I am not its target audience AKA teenage girls.

I must admit I lost interest and forgot this tedious movie as soon as it ended.

Unlike nuttier ever-moaning feminists I see nothing wrong in the concept and I'm sure the same themes could be used to create a much better, funnier, wittier movie in future.

But this is dire. 1 star and that's being generous!

Michael Caine is perfect to present this movie - though as he was born in 1933 I think, he was 30 when the 60s began in earnest! So his youth was in the stale, staid 1950s and he speaks well on that era. Believe it or not, MANY modern things started back then - like sex before marriage and more tolerant views towards homosexuality.

He has interviewed some real big fish like Paul McCartney for this film and other bits of old interviews with others are used too, so we also get the Stones, and especially The Who (real working class London boys).

His description of the 1950s is great - esp from a REAL working class kid like him. Sadly, most Cockneys now live in Essex or southern Spain, it seems, though you may find one or two amongst the Asian communities of East London - the ones who cannot afford to leave perhaps.

Important to remember that teenagers could exist and be freer because of increased wealth and the lack of a war to kill them (the boys anyway); conscription ended in 1960, I think. It didn't end in most other European countries. That was certainly ONE reason for the explosion in pop music in Britain.

My one criticism is this movie is a bit squeamish and coy about addressing issues of immigration and race, and attitudes of native Brits to this. Nothing on ska music or skinheads either.

It's stronger on social class though remember that even in the 60s, many who made it and got famous and had a singing time were posh and rich - as were the managers of most pop groups, and others who were famous. John Lennon and Mick Jagger both grew up in semi-detached suburbia so lower middle class rather than working class.

Sad to say social mobility has gone backwards in recent decades. Maybe because of the abolition of grammar schools, maybe because of sky-high property prices (13 times average income in London!).

I could watch this documentary again right now. A real treat. 5 stars.

It's no surprise this is based on a children's novel - The Little Broomstick by Mary Stewart first published in 1971 though reminiscent of the 1950s really.

It's quintessentially English, set in an unspecified past (no mobile phones or TV in the house - and the children's names Mary and Peter are not names many kids have these days - they were common in the 1950s).

I thoroughly enjoyed this film - the animation is lovely with great attention to detail, and the story has great pace and dramatic tension.

OK so the children have the typically huge blue eyes and button noses of stylised characters in MANGA comics - and NO-ONE at all looks Japanese. Also, this is happily free of 'politically correct' racial diversity quotas - no token black faces parachuted into the English countryside, as in TV drama like the new Midsomer Murders. That is accurate - the Welsh and English countryside is practically 100% white and I have never ever seen a black police officer in Wales or the English countryside! If the BBC or any British or US studio had made this film, you can be sure some of the book's characters would be made black!

Being about a school for witches and warlocks, an immediate comparison will be made to Harry Potter - and the film cleverly gives a nod to this, featuring a Harry Potter lookalike in one scene - a broomstick-riding lesson - which was great fun. BUT JK Rowling did not invent the concept of a boarding school story - she stole it. There have been trainee wizards before in novels, poems and films (eg The Sorcerer's Apprentice). And this movie is FAR more entertaining than ANY Harry Potter film imho.

I chuckled at some things the animators got so wrong though - especially the food. The girl Mary eats ham and pea/bean sandwiches at one point (those beans look typically Japanese) and when the family sits down to dinner, they are eating very non-English Japanese food combinations with a separate rice bowl LOL!

But these anomalies are charming rather than annoying! And thankfully this film is not TOO long and never gets boring.

Some great British character actors do the voices - Jim Broadbent plays the mad scientist Dr Dee (so-named after John Dee the 16th Century alchemist surely?) and Rasmus Hardiker who, despite his youth, voices the old gardener Zebedee perfectly. I see Andy Serkis managed to get the boy role gig for his son too!

A hugely enjoyable animation. 5 stars.

So this is a weird one - based on a graphic novel from Honk Kong called TIBETAN ROCK DOG. Half the writing in the film, and credits, and style of animation and architecture and food is Chinese! They even eat chips/French fries with chopsticks!

Having said that. it's a so-so adventure. Though not original. Occasional laughs, silly ending, baddie wolves etc.

No doubt kids will find it OK but I suspect they'd find the beginning boring coz it's so slow and take ages to get round to rock music - which, weirdly, is played on Chinese-style string instruments. The theme song is also Chinese in the pentatonic scale.

So weird and so-so. But it really doesn't know what it is - Chinese or Western - and succeeds in being neither.

This is not a low budget horror movie - it would have cost millions. Yet it's just an old haunted house story, with VERY predictable jumps and scares - and twists I would see coming a mile off.

A supposedly moral plot sort of makes sense esp with the subplot - but it all feels as fake and fantasy fiction as Harry Potter.

Predictable slave appearances; and some hokum re 13 nails... and a predictable non-ending leading the way to a sequel which I am sure will never be made.

Passes the time.

Anyone who's had anything to do with the world of amateur dramatics will squirm watching this as they recognise the horrible reality of putting on an am-dram musical.

Co written by Lev (who plays the dentist) with Guest, this has great lines and acting. Utterly believable.

And the songs, co-written by Harry Shearer, are WAY better than what you'd hear in professional musicals like The Greatest Showman (R&B in the 1860s anyone?) or the awful Hamilton. PROPER songs in this.

A really funny film which doesn't outstay its welcome (only 80 minutes). 4.5 stars rounded up to 5.

Without any Sex Pistols and Malcolm McClaren, Vivienne Westwood would be totally unkniwn. She basically just designs clothes and I have always hated that silly catwalk world where stern posing models where ridiculous clothes no-one will ever wear. No-one normal, that is.

Just boring. And annoying the doc gives no dates - birth, meeting McClaren, sons born etc. You need FACTS for something like this.

I watched half of this then turned off as it became all about this diva's latest collections and the Austrian poseur user she hooked up with.

And sometimes this woman is SO rude, demanding and ill-mannered it seems like she went to the Serena Williams finishing school. A horrible woman.

2 stars.

I only watched the first half hour of this movie - I couldn't stand any more.

Basically it's the story of a film critic supposedly famous in the USA esp in the 60s, 70s and 80s but unknown in the UK. Now he is ill and uses a voice speaker - though it doesn't specify his illness in the first half an hour.

Most interesting was his recollection of alcoholism and quitting one afternoon in 1979.

The rest bored me rigid.

I enjoyed this film though it's no more than a B-movie.

Hated the sentimental family plot stuff.

But the shark was lovely!

This is more of the same but gets very VERY silly indeed.

If you know Sharknado what to expect, but this really 'jumps the shark' in the end.

This is a so-so film - a B-movie though, so don't expect too much.

Hokum plot but OK to stick with it all for the ride.

This is a tough watch sometimes - very violent.

BUT very authentic characters incl black characters - the language is spot on.

Not sure if the ending would have happened.

But prisons are full of abuses, bullying, drugs as we all know.

A great film.