Film Reviews by MD

Welcome to MD's film reviews page. MD has written 73 reviews and rated 1358 films.

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Birder

Porn

(Edit) 30/10/2024

This is a porn movie. It's the second time I have unknowingly rented a porn movie. Porn movies should be clearly categorised as such. Each to his own.

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Critical

Gruesome

(Edit) 30/09/2024

Gruesome hospital drama. I don't know how realistic this is, but I am looking to be entertained not horrified. I watched 8 episodes in the hope that a plot line will emerge and characters develop more. However, the last episode on disc 2 was worse than any horror movie I have ever seen. I generally like hospital drama, but this was too horrible for me.

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Passages

Nauseating but interesting

(Edit) 26/06/2024

A woman gets involved with a gay man married to another man. He gets her pregnant and in his infinite selfishness flits between her and his husband. There is a lot of nauseating explicit gay sex. Very educational.

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Inside

I don't know how I sat through this. I guess it must be better than I thought.

(Edit) 23/05/2024

A burglar becomes trapped in a high tech arty penthouse. That's it. There is no more. The entire movie consist of the man trying to escape. There is no other cast to speak of or other setting. The movie is visually well made and well acted, but apart from that it's seriously awful. Usually these kinds of movies are all dark, but this one wasn't, which was its only saving grace.

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The Three Musketeers: D'Artagnan

I had to guess what was going on

(Edit) 27/02/2024

I tried and tried to watch this but it was no good. The subtitles are too small and the plot is difficult to follow in places.

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Carmen

I enjoyed it

(Edit) 24/02/2024

Romeo and Juliet type musical set on the Mexican border. She is a migrant, he is border patrol. The movie is interspersed with dance episodes, really very enjoyable. There is also the ugliest auntie of indeterminate gender on the planet.

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EO

I wish I could unsee this movie

(Edit) 01/10/2023

Thoroughly unpleasant. A donkey finds himself wondering around having horrible experiences. Gave up half way through. I thought this was going to be a nice animal movie.

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Mary Magdalene

Dull

(Edit) 17/06/2023

Down in the mouth, dull and worthy version of the Jesus story. Jesus himself looks rather old and the others seem permanently depressed.

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The Commons

Not really a futuristic thriller

(Edit) 05/03/2023

This post climate change futuristic thriller unfortunately doesn't do what it says on the tin. Most of it revolves around a barren woman longing for a child. Moreover, the leading actress is wooden, capable only of looking stressed.

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Dog

Not for serious dog owners

(Edit) 06/10/2022

Patriotic American dog movie. An army veteran is tasked to deliver a service dog to a military funeral after which the dog is going to be handed back to the army. Being already traumatised by his previous combat experiences, the dog is heading for certain euthanasia. It's a fairly entertaining comedy with the dog being rather badly behaved. There is an alarming amount of times when the dog is left alone in the car while the man goes about his business. Other aspects of the dog handling are also dubious and shouldn't be taken seriously.

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Zeros and Ones

You don't need to eat the whole steak to know that it's tough

(Edit) 29/09/2022

I didn't understand any of it. The movie jumps from one scene to another and none of it follows or makes any sense. Maybe it's just me. I watched about 3/4 of it before I fell by the wayside. It wasn't a pleasant thing to see, whatever it was.

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King of Thieves

Good story badly put together

(Edit) 13/09/2022

The story of the 2 men crucified with Jesus. Wooden theatrical acting, bad "authentic" accents and incomprehensible leaps in time. Poor old Jesus could barely string a sentence together with his foreign tongue. Still, it's a good story and reasonably watchable.

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Luxor

Very slow and nothing much happens

(Edit) 14/09/2022

A depressed woman goes to Egypt and walks about a bit. She gets laid, gets drunk, cries a bit and sees a fortune teller. It's all beautifully shot among the antiquities, but it's painfully slow and lacking a story. About the most exciting part is when she changes her shirt from a pink one to a blue one half way through.

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Death Block 13

Little boys stuff

(Edit) 09/09/2022

Geriatric Charles Bronson lookalike Robert Bronzi plays an innocent man unjustly jailed. The prison is rife with corruption and violence. The whole movie is an orgy of tongue in cheek grotesque violence. Quite funny in places, but it's too simplistic. At least the sound was good and fully comprehensible.

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Shadow in the Cloud

Avoif

(Edit) 22/08/2022

Dreadful horror. It mainly takes place in a confined space with a girl being frightened and bullied. Very limited cast.

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