Film Reviews by MD

This is obviously meant to be like a 'Divine/ John Waters' movie. But while the originals were genuinely off-the-wall and deliriously badly made (and all the funnier for it), this is a slick, lifeless and pale imitation.

So unless your idea of entertainment is watching a bloated tart wobble round in a succession of frocks, give this a very wide birth.

Couldn't get the dialogue sound or the subtitles to work for this so watched it blind but really it was soft-porn, pretentious rubbish.

By far the worst movie I've ever watched on this website. Not even laughably bad; just plain bad.

Avoid - you have been warned.

I've watched a couple of earlier films by the same director and found them fascinating and compelling.

This one however isn't up to the same standard and seems a bit of a whimsical mess and at 2 hours plus, is just too long.

Even the character played by Josh O'connor doesn't have any real depth and he comes across as an Oirish tinker who's wandered into Italy by mistake. But no, he's an Etruscan grave robber (?!). You see the problems....

Nice visuals and above-average acting from the youngish cast.

But lots of therapy speak, maudlin, irritating sound track and apart from major back story, very little dramatic tension. Is it just my age or are these post-teens just really boring ?

Reference to 'Looking' is wide of the mark; that was far superior to this offering in every department .

This can seem at first like a fairly outdated movie now which is a cross between a farce and a sitcom.

But it has some very funny moments, lots of different characters and a very finely-tuned plot which delivers a big denouement.

Quite honestly, this is far better than a lot of the 'queer' cinema that gets money at the moment and today's directors could learn a lot from a film like this.

Wonky camerawork, bad acting and a rambling storyline.

Looks like a poor home movie. One to avoid.

Yet another underwhelming gay offering, this time from France.

On the DVD there are 3 short films from the same director so he must have a sugar daddy with more money than sense.

I will admit that this is the best of the four so he's at least improving but at this rate we'll have all lost interest by the time he hits the jackpot.

Bit of a road movie, bit scifi, bit teen drama but really it's just the two leads staring at each other in a swoon with a lot of meaninglessness dialogue. They're lovely of course but it's not enough is it ?

Sorry, but teenagers are basically very boring unless you're one yourself so if not, best not to bother.

Won't repeat what others have said below.

This is a beautiful, slow burn, absorbing feature with great acting and a hypnotic style that's totally involving.

Bleak but mesmerising. Best movie I've seen in ages and quite different and surprising to anything else.

If you thought an art movie 'gazing into the heart of male desire ' couldn't be worse than Pornhub, think again.

Not cheesy but laughably pretentious.

Not consumerist but totally vacuous.

Not overwrought but asexual.

And at the end...

'Do you think we know each other better?'

Who cares frankly. This film ought to come with a health warning. It's enough to put you off sex altogether.

Give it a wide berth

After watching a couple of 'dance' movies, I've come to the conclusion that they're pointless and very boring.

Modern dance isn't totally silly like classical ballet, but has no overall shape and little coherence apart from a few abstract ideas. The dancers in the film keep asking the director what it's meant to be about.

The movement is attractive but essentially meaningless and the nudity rapidly becomes unremarkable like wallpaper. One for the determined only.

Unbelievable plot, D-list actors, wildly awful sex and violence, plus some laugh-out-loud and often incorrect subtitles.

I nearly took this out but with some fast-forwarding on the remote, it was almost worth it. Who on earth made this movie?

'Give me your dirty arse now!'

'Welcome to my nestle' etc etc.

I may pop it back in (I'm starting to sound like the movie).

The wonders of cinema paradiso ??

Gave this up after half an hour; silly idea, pointless and unerotic sex, and 2 leads who are sub soap standard actors.

How do they get money to make this rubbish ? There are way too many gay movies being made and three quarters of them should never have seen the light of day.

I'm gay, by the way, so I'm not being homophobic ??. But I've got a functioning brain and a limited life span.

At a mere 65 minutes, this still seems overlong. Much of it's like a home movie with poor sound. Little structure or script and really only comes to life in a huge scene at the end. Where do they get the money from ?

Overlong, pretentious with tricksy editing making it difficult to know what happened when. Ladies dancing up and down the beach with waffly pregnant prose on the soundtrack. Average acting. Cute cast but you aren't bothered in any case. They all hold hands at the end by the water's edge- let's hope they jump in and don't come back (lol).

Slow burner that packs a real mental health punch ?? at the end after starting in a breezy and attractive manner . Good performances from the young cast. Well worth a punt.