Film Reviews by RP

The best I can say is that it's mercifully short at 88 minutes. But those 88 minutes are filled with one of the most dire films I have ever seen.

If it had been played straight rather than for laughs (?) I reckon the film could have turned very much better. It's a sci-fi film with CGI special effects that are pretty good for a Finnish-German-Australian and crowd-sourced low budget project - but unfortunately it has its tongue firmly in its cheek and is played out as a political satire. This simply doesn't work and the attempts at humour fall flat on their face. Sorry, but it didn't even raise a smile from me, unless a grimace counts.

The storyline goes something like this... In 1945 a group of Nazis escaped and set up base on the dark side of the moon, where they have built a largely mechanical invasion fleet ready for a triumphant return to earth. Meanwhile, down below it's 2018 and re-election year for a Sarah Palin lookalike US President. As a campaign stunt they send a 'black on the moon' (geddit?) expedition who stumble across the moon-Nazis. Not liking the fact that one astronaut is a black male model, the moon-Nazis 'albinise' him and use his smartphone as compute power for their sooper dooper space battleship, the Götterdämmerung. Needing a replacement for the phone, they send a mini-expedition to earth, where the president's campaign manager falls for the wannabe-Führer, and the expedition returns with a tablet computer for the battleship. Confused? You will be, as a space battle commences, the US 'wins', but global war breaks out as the US lays claim to the moon-Nazi's stock of Helium-3.

The script is dire - but at least the Nazis speak German rather that accented English. Have I seen worse? Yes - but nowadays I try to avoid them and regrettably I didn't manage it this time. 1/5 stars. Avoid, unless you're a masochist - or a moon-Nazi.

I remember seeing the first series way back in 1976 - laughing out loud, and using CJ's catchphrase. Now here I am, over 35 years later doing exactly the same!

This is classic British TV about which you can truly say 'they don't make them like that any more.' Superb.

For those who don't know, the series follows the life of Reginald Iolanthe Perrin, a 46 year old executive with Sunshine Desserts who begins to question the rationale for his boring suburban life, boring marriage, boring relatives, boring commute to work, his boring work colleagues. He begins to fancy his secretary, starts to act bizarrely, throws a wobbler and does a John Stonehouse. (Google for the name). Wandering the land in a series of unlikely disguises he attends his own memorial service, leading to a strange family reconciliation. Told cold, this might seem straightforward stuff for a TV drama - but it is laced with so much humour from the lead character played by the late lamented Leonard Rossiter and great dialogue from writer David Nobbs, who developed the script from his own books. It really does have to be seen to believed - and it's far better than the 2009 remake with Martin Clunes.

As CJ might have said 'I didn't get where I am today by not knowing a TV classic when I see it'. Superb stuff. 5/5 stars - highly recommended.

After watching the excellent French cop series 'Braquo' I went looking for more in the same vein, and came across the most excellent TV series 'Spiral'. This had previously been shown on BBC4 but I missed it there :(

The English title doesn't give much of a clue about the content - the original title is 'Engrenages' which translates better as 'gears' or 'cogs', and perhaps 'enmeshed' as in how gears engage gives a better sense of the characters and storyline.

First let me say again that it really is excellent. Not only is the story gripping but the characterisation is excellent with sufficient details about both working and personal lives to make you care. Added to that, the series gave a rarely seen view (perhaps inevitably coloured through the eyes of a TV series) of a different justice system. France has an inquisitorial justice system rather than the adversarial system of England. In 'Spiral' this is shown by an examining judge (juge d'instruction) instructing the police in the course of a serious criminal case, meeting all parties and investigating and hearing evidence from the various sides, and deciding whether to send the case to trial. I found this difference in the English and French judicial systems quite fascinating to watch. I understand that in real life only a small proportion of cases are dealt with directly by a judge in this fashion - but hey, this is TV.

As far the storyline, it goes something like this... The badly disfigured body of a young woman is found in a skip. An autopsy reveals the clue that she may be of Eastern European origin. A missing person report leads to her sister (who is still missing) and to activities as a high class call girl, the sister's body is found, and the case leads further to a case of sexual corruption at the highest level. Throughout the series a number of quite disturbing images are shown of bodies and autopsies and this, together with other assorted violence and the subject matter rate this as certificate 18 material.

The characters are very well played - the baddies are violent, the goodies are human and likeable, and there are ambivalent, flawed characters, including a coked-up police officer and a defence lawyer who strays onto the side of the baddies. The dialogue is fast moving (too fast and colloquial for my limited French) and the subtitles are in proper English, not American.

The central thread of the story remains throughout, but each episode contains snippets from other cases which gives a rich feel to the series. There are 2 discs, 4 x 50min episodes on each. I found it gripping and watched Disc 1 straight through in one session; there was a delay of a few days until Disc 2 arrived, and again I watched that in a single session. Well directed, well written, well constructed plot, well filmed, good locations - and excellent acting. Really, really good.

I rated Series 1 of 'Braquo' of one of the best cop thriller series I have seen: while 'Spiral' is different - it's not a thriller, but is just as gripping - I rate it as even better. Superb stuff - 5/5 stars - highly recommended.

Bizarre, quite bizarre. This documentary film gives the history of 1977's "Manacled Mormon" case headlined in the tabloids, and still remembered today. The story goes something like this... Young woman (Joyce McKinney) becomes infatuated with young man (Kirk Anderson). Nothing unusual about that, you may think. But Kirk is a Mormon (and 17 stone in weight, to boot) and was sent to England on missionary service, as many young Mormon men are - and this is where the fun begins. Joyce follows him to England where, with the help of one Keith May, she kidnaps poor old Kirk at gunpoint, chloroforms him, and takes him to a cottage in Devon, where she burns his "secret underwear", handcuffs him to the bed, and - poor chap - has her wicked way with him.

She was later arrested and remanded to Holloway Prison for 3 months before her trial on kidnapping charges. During the trial McKinney and May skipped bail and fled to Canada, apparently is disguise. Given the lurid nature of the allegations it was inevitable that the case hit the headlines in the tabloids. Key among these were the Daily Express (which fell for McKinney's version of events and her tales of an innocent young love thwarted by a brainwashing cult) and the Daily Mirror (which sent a team to the US and uncovered allegations that the lovely Miss McKinney was a nude model and part-time prostitute). Cue yet more lurid headlines.

Among the interviews in the film, yet more bizarre details emerge, including how in later years McKinney had her dead pit bull Booger (what?!?) cloned in Korea at a cost of $50,000 and now lives alone with five Booger-clones - but is shunned by her neighbours :)

I didn't particularly like the style of the film (particularly the rather silly animations) but it's well worth 4/5 stars if only for the seriously bizarre - yet true - story.

[Aside: a search on Wikipedia for "mormon sex in chains case" will give a few more details...]

The second series of 'Braquo' (French slang for heist, or armed robbery) starts where the first series left off - in other words, it's not standalone as the characters and the complex, sticky situation they're in is the result of events in Series 1. If you haven't seen that yet - watch it: it's great stuff.

I watched Series 1 is a single sitting and I guess my verdict on Series 2 is that it took me two sittings for this one. So it's pretty good, but it certainly wasn't as good as the first..

While the action sequences in Series 1 are realistically portrayed, the events and storyline are less so - there are some most unlikely twists and turns to the story, but the tension and momentum keep it going and any sense of disbelief is suspended as you are carried along by the pace and momentum.

However, in Series 2 the events become somewhat more than unlikely: they become silly. Having said that, again the pace of the action is relentless and it is possible to be carried along. But this time I just didn't believe the storyline. Just to give some idea of how over-the-top it is it includes, among other things, the theft of 400kg of gold with 10 deaths (but without any apparent nationwide hunt for the killers) and the gold is stolen to compensate families of loyal soldiers killed in Angola 16 years before. There is torture by electric shock (but with apparent instant recovery), an Internal Affairs investigator who dresses as a prostitute and commits multiple murders, and worst of all a 'magic' weapon shooting 'magic' bullets that only kill baddies. Those are just a few examples: there are many more. There are Jewish baddies, Armenian baddies, German baddies, ex-military mercenary baddies, police baddies, businessmen baddies, political baddies - I may have missed a few there - so plenty of baddies to go round.

Again the baddies are violent and seedy, matched only by violent seedy cops wearing their uniform of well worn leather jackets. And there is a little bit of character development until you begin to know and feel how each will act, which is all good stuff.

It's tense, violent, and the action is non-stop for 8 x 50 minute episodes and I can recommend it - and of course there's a hook at the end for Series 3. This time I'll give it 4/5 stars because of the sheer improbability of the story and while I'll watch Series 3, I have a nasty feeling that unless the writing substantially improves it will get even sillier.

[Aside: the subtitles have improved - this time they seem to be (mostly) in English rather than American]

After I had seen the excellent French cop thriller '36' I looked for others by director Olivier Marchal and discovered the TV series 'Braquo' (slang for heist, or armed robbery). It is superb - in fact it is the best police thriller series I have seen. I would previously have given this accolade to 'The Wire', but 'Braquo' beats it hands down.

If you want your cop thrillers to be dark, gritty, realistic, violent, edge-of-the-seat stuff then this is for you. Populated by seedy looking villains - not to mention the seedy looking cops whose only consistent uniform seems to be a well worn leather jacket - the story has several interwoven threads. As the cops fall ever deeper into a pit of violence and extra-legal activities they face the loss of their jobs, imprisonment or death. Tense stuff with excellent acting throughout, giving a sense of depth to the characters as you follow them at work, with their families, with their wives and partners.

The action is non-stop as the story builds to a complex climax, leaving (of course) a hook for a 2nd series.

I found it gripping and watched it straight through - 8 x 50 minute episodes. And I've now ordered the 2nd series - I expect it to be just as good.

If I have one criticism it's that the subtitles are in American rather than English, but I can live with that.

5/5 stars - highly recommended.

Cheesy acting, corny characters, hilarious dialogue, mindless fisticuffs, knife fights, gunfights, monster trucks, women with big hair, men with mullets, girls who wear dresses that look like tablecloths, old men who are martial arts experts, a bouncer with a degree in philosophy - the list goes on... This film is truly awful - yet it's enjoyable. It's so bad it's good.

The storyline (such as it is) is of the classic western variety : stranger comes to town, cleans it up, meets local girl, leaves town - or something. Here it is: Dalton (Patrick Swayze) is a famous super-bouncer hired to clean up rough bar but is a little on the small side so gets a few laughs (dialogue: "I thought you'd be bigger") meets local doctor (Kelly Lynch) when being stapled for a knife wound (dialogue: "Pain don't hurt"), calls in old friend Wade Garrett (Sam Elliott) for assistance (dialogue: "I'll get all the sleep I need when I'm dead"), Dalton beats up local hard men, takes revenge on local businessman / baddie Brad Wesley (Ben Gazzara), swims in river with girl.

Never mind the awful acting, the f-ing and blinding, the violence, assorted bare chests - just sit back and let its awfulness wash over you. You might enjoy it too. Other than the sheer cheesiness of it, the best thing is the soundtrack. The bar band is the Jeff Healey Band led by blind Canadian guitarist Jeff Healey and they're excellent if you like blues / rock - I saw them live a good few years ago.

Regrettably both Patrick Swayze and Jeff Healey (not to mention Ben Gazzara) have all been called to that great roadhouse in the sky, so sadly there'll be no more films quite like this again - perhaps that's just as well. 5/5 stars for the cheese + music :)

Remade in 1991 starring Nick Nolte and Robert De Niro, this is the original 1962 version with Gregory Peck and Robert Mitchum.

Max Cady (the baddie, played by Robert Mitchum) is released from prison after serving 8 years for rape [Aside: the words 'rape' or 'rapist' are never mentioned in the film, courtesy of the censor. The words 'attack' and 'attacker' are used instead - but from the context it is always clear what is meant]. Baddie begins to stalk attorney Sam Bowden (the goodie, played by Gregory Peck) and his family. Bowden testified against him in his trial for an 'attack' leading to Cady's conviction.

The law can't protect Bowden's family from the stalker and neither can taking matters into his own hands. The climax comes on a houseboat on the Cape Fear River, North Carolina - or in this version, on the river bank as the two main characters fight. Clearly, it is always going to be the goodie who wins, but nevertheless the tension is maintained until the end.

Of the two versions I much prefer the original. Filmed in black and white, the acting is more restrained, the baddie more realistic - and equally as menacing. In the remake, the Robert De Niro baddie is just too over-the-top - here, while still relentlessly threatening he appears far more menacing when acted by the more restrained Robert Mitchum.

Telly Savalas (with hair!) has a small part as a private eye.

The film was given a X certificate on its release in the UK and the BBFC site lists the film as some 3 minutes shorter than the video version. Quite what was cut is not clear - by today's standards the violence is restrained, even though the subject matter is still disturbing.

Directed by British director J. Lee Thompson and well lit and photographed, this is an excellent film with a score by Bernard Herrmann that adds to the air of menace. 4/5 stars. Highly recommended.

It is the 1930s, the time of the Great Depression and Prohibition. Bright young man studies to be a vet but after a family tragedy jumps a train and joins the circus. The circus owner is driven, even obsessed, not only in his desire to keep his business on the road but also by his possessive jealousy of his beautiful wife, the star performer - who is of course the object of the young man's infatuation. The fortunes of the circus are turned round by the purchase (from a failed circus) of Rosie the elephant but ultimately destroyed by the cruelty and obsession of the owner.

Bookending the film is an intro and outro by the vet as an old man that provides a rather good ending. Actors include heartthrob (?) Robert Pattinson as the young vet, Reese Witherspoon as the woman and Christoph Waltz in the stand-out performance as the circus owner. This is an excellent film. I thought it was going to be too soppy and sentimental for my tastes, but no - it has a hard edge to it that cuts through what could easily have been an over-schmaltzy melodrama. Entertaining stuff - 4/5 stars - recommended.

Generally I don't like films about making films, films about actors, films about cinema, films about the film industry, films about Hollywood - they're just too incestuous. But I have to make an exception for this film - it's excellent.

The film was a box office disaster - and I still say it's excellent. But if you're looking for a Clint-type action film like 'Dirty Harry' or 'A Fistful of Dollars' or similar then you won't find it here and will probably be disappointed. On the other hand, Clint gives a well-acted - and amusing - portrayal of a film director.

The film is based on Peter Viertel's novel of the same name, and is a thinly disguised story of renowned film director John Huston during the making of the Bogart / Hepburn classic 'The African Queen'. The names are changed to protect the innocent - scriptwriter Peter Viertel becomes Peter Verrill, director John Huston becomes John Wilson, producer Sam Spiegel becomes Paul Landers and the film becomes 'The African Trader'.

Clint plays the director as an irascible, hot tempered, opinionated, hard drinking, womanising man who becomes obsessed with hunting and shooting an elephant - an obsession that he pursues to the detriment of his film-making. He finally comes to realise that his obsession is foolish and misguided, even a sin: "the only sin you can buy a license to commit". And his obsession ends in tragedy.

The director is shown as standing up for the underdog, for example when a woman makes derogatory remarks about Jews, and when the hotel owner abuses a black waiter. Both of these scenes are excellent, and Clint has lines - not just here, but throughout the film - which made me laugh out loud. And there are small roles for British acting stalwarts including Timothy Spall and Alun Armstrong amongst others.

The film may have been a commercial failure but I rate it as one of Mr Eastwood's best. 4/5 stars - recommended.

Yet another coming-of-age / rites-of-passage film. This one is set in 1968 Glasgow and follows the Maclean family and three brothers Bobby (18 - a semi-literate member of the Glen gang), Alan (16 - headed for art school) and Lex (a rebellious 13 year old). The tale is told through the eyes of Lex as the two younger brothers make their way uneasily between the Glen and the Tongs - and Lex's actions end in violence and tragedy.

The film is well made and well acted and there some striking visuals, such as the trail of blood after Bobby is stabbed at the ice rink. The film was made in 1996 and despite the violence portrayed it seems to have a romantic view of gang culture in the 1960s. I'm reasonably certain that it was far worse than shown here and it just doesn't ring true to me. For a more recent - and, I suspect, more accurate portrayal - see Peter Mullan's film 'Neds' which deals with Glasgow gangs in the 1970s.

While I enjoyed the film (although I'm not sure that 'enjoyed' is quite the right word here) I felt that it was too idealised and sentimental. 3/5 stars - but I'd like to give it more. Recommended.

A convict (Robert De Niro) is released after serving 14 years in prison. He returns to a small North Carolina town and stalks local attorney (Nick Nolte) and family, seeking revenge for the attorney's failure to properly defend him. Attorney is weak and attempts to defend himself + family both within the law (a failure) and outside the law (you guessed it: a failure). The film builds to a finale on board the family's houseboat on the Cape Fear River.

Directed by Martin Scorsese, the performances are excellent and the film is highly regarded. Unfortunately the film is by no means subtle - De Niro's character is just too over the top, has too many tattoos, his Southern accent too heavy, his resistance to Nick Nolte's attempts to defend his family too obvious, his very resistance to pain predictable, his every move telegraphed well in advance. Within minutes of the film starting we can guess what will happen and how it's going to end and the 'climax', while well done, is just sooooo predictable.

This 1991 film is a remake of the 1961 version which starred Gregory Peck and Robert Mitchum. I think I'll order that to remind myself how good it was - in the meantime I'll mark this one down for being so over-the-top and give it 3/5 stars.

'The Devil's Backbone' is in Spanish, with subtitles. Please don't let that put you off - it's a superb, atmospheric film, beautifully photographed, rich in symbolism and directed by the Mexican director Guillermo del Toro, best known for his film 'Pan's Labyrinth'. I count it as probably the best film I have seen this year and only wish I had seen it sooner.

Like 'Pan's Labyrinth' it is set in the 1930s against the background of the Spanish civil war. While that film showed a child using fantasy to shield herself from the horrors of war, here the film is ostensibly a ghost story and the prospect of death is more immediate.

The film starts with a boy bleeding profusely from a head wound and immediately afterwards a bomb falls into a courtyard, embedding itself into the ground - but not exploding. This opening sequence is followed by the main story as a boy (Carlos) is brought to an orphanage by his tutor / guardian and the owners (Dr Casares and Carmen) persuaded to take him in. It is revealed that the orphanage is for the children of Republicans (the democratically elected left-wing government side, usually regarded as the goodies) who are fighting a civil war against the Nationalists (supporters of a military coup, supported by Nazi Germany and Italy, and usually regarded as fascists and baddies). Carmen has gold bars in a safe that are used to fund the Republican side. And Dr Casares has specimen foetuses in his laboratory, one of them with spina bifida - the 'devil's backbone' of the title.

As Carlos settles in to his new life amid bullying by one of the other boys (Jaime) he discovers that the orphanage is haunted - he sees a ghost who warns him that many will soon die. The school caretaker (Jacinto) treats him cruelly - he is an unpleasant person, a long-time resident of the orphanage himself, who is after the gold in the safe. Jaime turns out to have witnessed the death of Santi, the ghost, at the hands of Jacinto. Events turn from bad to worse as Jacinto blows up the orphanage, steals the gold - only to have the boys + ghost take their revenge on him.

From the opening sequence the viewer is enveloped in a dark atmosphere of symbolism and foreboding. The film is not a ghost story, not a thriller, not a horror film but an allegory about childhood in wartime. I'll leave you to work out the symbolism of the 'devil's backbone', the unexploded bomb and the fact that Carmen has only one leg...

The film is a rich masterpiece of film making. Superb stuff - 5/5 stars. Highly recommended.

Oh no! The end of the world is nigh! First you lose your sense of smell, then your sense of taste, then your hearing, then your sight. Yet this is a love story (albeit with a sci-fi background) and despite the rather gloomy scenario there is a hopeful note to the ending: each of the previous sensual losses are preceded by grief, ravenous hunger or violence, but the final sensory loss - sight - is preceded by a warm, loving feeling.

The leading characters are well played by Ewan MacGregor and Eva Green and the relationship between them develops and builds as the epidemic progresses. Life continues as the epidemic runs its course and there is a strong hint that life will continue after the loss of sight. The film ends - somewhat abruptly - on a downbeat note but with unspoken hope for the future.

Well photographed and set in Glasgow, this is a well made low budget film made with British + Irish + Danish finance, so the rather lovely Connie Nielsen also gets a role. The film is commendably short and doesn't suffer from trying to stretch out 90 minutes worth of material to 2 hours as so many others do. The one thing I didn't like was the voiceover which I thought was a lazy way to tell the story - but perhaps that's understandable on such a tight budget.

I enjoyed 'Perfect Sense' and rate it at 4/5 stars. Highly recommended - but it may be too gloomy for some.

This is a made-for-TV drama that I saw on ITV last Christmas and was impressed by the quality - it's usually BBC who do the better 'period' dramas. Seeing it again confirms my impressions: it's very well done. Having said that, there really isn't a lot of excitement - it's a drama, but it's not very dramatic.

The story goes something like this: local plod down in Wiltshire village are struggling. The Met send down Inspector Jack Whicher of the newly-form Detective Branch. He investigates the murder of a child, but clues are hard to find and local plod is obstructive. At the end all he has are his suspicions but no hard evidence, and the suspect is released. The case destroys Whicher but he is vindicated some years later - his 'suspicions' were of course correct.

The film is well acted - I really like Paddy Considine's style - but I suspect that the lack of drama is down to Kate Summerscale's book on which the film is based, which is more of a history than a detective novel. That, together with the subject matter makes for a rather gloomy story rather than a detective thriller. I enjoyed it and I'd like to give it 4/5 but there's so much better stuff out there, so it gets 3/5 from me.