Film Reviews by porky

God, Dont even Go There ......... it was So bad i cant even think of anything to say about it . choose something else that is actually watchable .

Better movie that Fatman v Supergran , but only because they both dont appear in it....

Wonder Woman ,though never actually called that ,is a likeable character . but all a bit Silly even for a Super Hero .

Unrealistic baddie . foolish story and Irritating hero.

Fun watch , but a second movie will be far better so you dont have to sit through all the dull explanation of where she has come from first .

Hmm... Interesting ,More a Zombie movie than a Mummy Story to be honest.

Dont quite know why Sandi Toksvig was in it pretending to be Tom Cruise but hey, who am I to complain.

If I had Known beforehand Russel Crow was in it I wouldnt have even Bothered to watch it , cant abide him.

and the addition of Dr Jekyl/Mr Hyde in the story was just plain Stupid.

Entertaining Evening Movie . but Not Great ,and probaby not worth a second watch ....soo Hire it Dont Buy it .

Please Give this a Very Wide Berth, it is close on being the WORST movie I've ever seen.

Bad Acting, Bad Script , Bad Idea ...... Dont Go There . Seriously I had to FF to the end as I couldnt take anymore ,and I love Bad Movies.

OMG....This is BAD with a capitol B ......

Picture a Fat Guy and his Teenage daughter make a Home Made Horror Movie with her 3 Best friends in their Holiday Cabin....Trying So Hard to be EVIL DEAD with a sample of The Ring thrown in for good measure .

But Imagine this Home made Movie Evil Dead filmed on an Out of Focus Camera held by the Family Dog ,then you have an idea How Bad This Really Is.... I couldnt watch it all, I speed watched it on FF just incase it got any better ...But it didnt .

Give this one a miss. it was Rotten Rotten Rotten ....

Wow.... A really Bizarre Movie. Not fabulously made but really good anyway . Its so strange you cant help but love it.

Im not sure what else to say other than i LOVED IT . it was Bonkers ! easily the Best Movie ive seen in Ages.

Sort of a Frankenstein / Silence of the Lambs /Misery Mash Up . only Much Weirder than you could possibly imagine .

Beautiful Visually , lacking in a likeable lead character . you are basically faced watching 2 Petulant Teenagers having Hissy Fits between doing their Job as officers of the Law and apparently falling in Love or Lust .

Story and Cast bring this down sadly as Visually it is Stunning and Wonderfully full of ideas and images you would rather know more about than the Two Leads ..Worth seeing for that alone. similar in feel to Fifth Element .only more expensively made.

Picture AVATAR taking itself less Seriously and with More Humour .

A Much Better Movie than the First Ouija Movie....

This is the Prequel set in the 1960's to that previously in Modern Day ,

Its telling the story of the Dead Girl who's lips they cut open when her Dead Body is discovered behind the false wall...

Obviously In this Movie No One is Dead YET.....Or Are They ????

Much Darker Movie than the First , Closer to something like 'Insidious ' than the Teen Slasher the First one was.

I almost didnt bother watching this Movie after seeing the First one and being rather Disappointed , but its made me think i might now watch the Third Movie now, as this was entertaining enough for even a second watch .

Its actually a Very Beautiful Movie, rather Charming and Rather Sad....However it is soo slow moving it feels more than a bit Dull .

I actually Loved it but ,as I say its rather Dull, I Never will sit down to see it a second time.

Its Clever, Touching, Funny ,Sad and almost a Silent Movie .

Definitely Worth seeing ,just don't expect to be Fully Entertained by it.... Its an Oddity, Clever and yet Very ,Very Simple .

Dreadful Rubbish. Bunch of Detention Delinquents get Rewarded for being Arseholes by being made into Super hero's.... Great !

Really wish I hadnt bothered ...

Enjoyable for an afternoon ,as long as you dont expect it to be anything like the Historic series.

Take it as a movie about Hapless Home guards and don't even try to see the series in its burn out ashes .

Much of the cast looked Bored all through it ,especially Bill Nighy playing Sergent Wilson

No sign of 'Dont Panic ,Dont Panic !' and no real use of 'Were Doomed' either ! .....Dads Army ....Dead in the Water !

Terribly Childish MARVEL offering. Unlike previous Avengers Movies,this one seems made for the Children's market. Occasional appearances of Iron Man help make you remember what it is you are watching but even that seems Tagged On to connect it to the Avengers Marvel Franchise and sits awkwardly in the story. CGI is of Low Quality so Spiderman in action really looks much like the Cartoon version from the 70's .and the Joke fat Friend is Soo Comedy it was like watching Mr Bean....What were they thinking ???

Shame because up till this entry ,i've really enjoyed the Marvel Avengers Franchise .might think twice about following any more in future .

Jeepers Creepers 3 is actually Jeepers Creepers 1.5 , the story follows straight on from the end of part 1 and ends entering the realm of Part 2, but with NO real Continuity.

Mostly about the Discovery of the Creepers Truck that was used in Part 1 but never seen in Part 2 . The Truck itself Kills and is Dangerous,and possibly Cursed .

Everyone is as Stupid as they usually are in Horror Movies ,Doing all the things they Should Know NOT to do but DO Anyway .Yawwwn.

Most Frightening thing in the Whole Movie is the Sheriffs Terrible Hair Transplant, and that's not even in the Script,that is just the Actors Own Hair !

Long winded nothing . no build up , no story , no action until the last 5 mins. and by then you really don't care what happens you just want it to finish .

I guess its Most like the movie 'Party Monster ' but without the Party element or the True Story behind it.

Instead of Hedonistic Club Kids you have Vain ,Insecure ,Lesbian Fashion Models , Jealousy and of curse Murder.

As Empty Headed as the Fashion Modes ,this Movie is lacking in every way . Avoid it .

Its a Movie without a Story.

We are left to watch a small collection of people in Space,in the 1970's , Living their Very Dull Middle class lives from day to day . The End.