Film Reviews by porky

Very interesting and complex character with many personalities ,troubled and internally working on another ,newer,more dangerous personality.

Kidnapping, Murder, Psychoanalysis ,Hunting, Sexual Abuse,Self Harm,Innocence,Transformation and Cannibalism .

Lots going on ,a link to a previous movie and , hopefully ,a possibility of a further chapter ? maybe ....

In all a Very Good Watch .

Hmmmm. wel all i can really say is ..Its Better than the First movie, and in the same Home made style , unlike the second one which turned it into something a bit more mainstream.....This one follows on from the First Blair Witch Movie, basically looking for the lost camera crew / sister of main character in this movie.

Other than that its just more of the same , at least this time we actually get to see the Witch .

Ok , as suggested in another review, It is very much like the movie 'The Thing ' only its a little less cut off and a little less Scary and a lot more catching .

Interesting take on Alien life trapped in Glacier and suddenly making an appearance after a Thaw . More a Viral Alien than an actual Alien being as in the Thing , but once its on the move plenty of Mutations occur and you never know what it will be like ,that all depends on the genetic mixture each time it takes a bite. Gruesome, Bloody and Frantic . Watch to the end for a rather Bizarre Ending .

Why this is called Inanimate i do not know...... Suspended Animation would have been a better title and more accurate .

Nothing more than a Budget version of 'The Thing' only on a Fishing ship in Alaskan Frozen Waters whilst Whale watching/Crab Fishing.

Pretty run of the mill story wise . thankfully NO dreadful CGI effects to ruin everything ,just the old style Puppetry/Monster in actuality .so what you get is a Real-time creature , always more entertaining than a cartoon one.even if the design is a bit shit and more like a Pot Noodle than an Alien . Entertaining enough for the one viewing ,certainly not one to purchase for more than one watch though.

Its an Ok movie, infact if im honest its a rather good movie, Not badly made ,Not badly acted, Very French in values .

Personally I Absolutely Hated it and Everyone in it .what a bunch of truly horrible people they are in a French Vet School.

Its Odd , its .....hmmm ...how to describe it..... i found it Very Annoying , but that was mainly because i found the people in it annoying .

No real explanation to WHY Cannibalism crops up . no real story apart from the obvious. certainly no real hero / heroine to root for .

Vet School seemed to be all about the Students Abusing one another as much as possible all term long.

A Massive Missile Attack on the whole Veterinary School would have been a better ending for me .

Starts a bit slow..thought at first it was going to be a really Low budget and crappy movie, so started to regret my choice but ended getting much better once on the go. Bit limited with story , but ended up being entertaining enough . Not a block buster like Alien obviously but for a lower budget ,interior based Sci fi it passed muster . not dissimilar to many other movies in space stations or on alien planets that face disaster .claustraphobic and running too a fro down corridors with guns shouting ..... think Pandorum or Doom . wouldn't bother seeing it again, but i certainly enjoyed seeing it once .

I Expected a typical Slasher in the woods, Killing off Over sexed teenagers on Drink and Drugs as is usual from something called Summer Camp. But NO ...Thankfully this heads in a slightly unexpected direction and far more interesting than just another Friday 13th rip off....

Darkly Humorous in its way . a touch of Evil Dead and a Twistedly Funny and Dark Ending . well worth more than one watch .

NOT AT ALL what I expected...

From the cover you are lead to believe its some kind of Cheesy Possession Movie possibly ...

From the Title maybe some kind of Paranormal Movie like CARRIE ...but its actually Closer in feel to Bette Davis in 'The Anniversary '

A Rather Darkly Funny ,Bitchy Family get together . Nasty old Grandma , Damaged Lesbian Sister,Mentally Troubled Boyfriend ,Aggressive Girlfriend ,Religious Tight Ass Nut Brother , Perverted family Priest and Dead Parents... I was chuckling all through it ,though i have NO idea if it is intentionally or Unintentionally Funny. either way I loved this movie ,I wasn't expecting a great deal from it and actually found something I really rather love .

Clearly from the Title and Cover Art ,(i notice this film is also sold as 'TRASH FIRE' ) the production company haven't a clue what they have here or how to sell it .

Ive read a lot of BAD reviews about this movie but Don't listen to them, Its actually a Really Good Movie. Its almost the 'Stepford Wives' of the New generation..... I wont go any further than that as it may ruin the movie for you. but its Twisted , Clever ,Claustraphobic and really rather revealing of the innate Racism that is sadly in everyone, weather they admit it or not ,

I think its a Must See Movie of 2017 . If this movie didn't effect you in even the slightest way then you are probably part of the problem .

Pretty Low Rent FOUND FOOTAGE ,Fake Documentary movie about Sideshow Horror Houses . Starts off with Documentary Footage and soon becomes a group of 20 something's looking for thrills . Nothing Scary ,Nothing Frightening,Nothing out of the ordinary. pretty much what you expect from a Blair Witch Rip Off......only with a rather Dull Ending. Watch ONLY f you are thinking of getting Work at a Seasonal Horror House and want ideas for Halloween Outfits .mainly CLOWNS.

Rather an Average Haunted House movie. Not too bad but Not great either . Its one of those Films where everything would have been absolutely FINE if only the protagonist had done what they were told to do right from the beginning...BURN IT !

But of course, in the usual Horror Movie Genre way they Ignore everything they are told right from the off until its too late,

......YAWWWN . :O

Please Note ; If you are ever offered a HUGE Old House at a knock Down Price ...There is something Wrong with it OK?

....so why wait till everyone is dying before you bother to find out what ?....DOH!

Entertaining, but Low budget almost Made for TV style special effects . Dont expect a lot from it. Better than the average Afternoon Sci fi movie but only just, You wouldnt have wanted to Pay to see it in the cinema at any time..... Cast did a good job, Creature let it down .

Not the best entry in the franchise but entertaining as always . Nice to get a few loose ends sorted and great to see Ali Larter's character also makes a welcome return along side Alice for the finale . It ends back where it started in the Umbrella Hive under Raccoon City .and all is explained ,the How, Why and Who. rather sad to see it all come to an end really. like saying Goodbye to an old friend . Goodbye Alice .

Rings...? Best just to enjoy it as a different thing all together , Taken as the next installment of the series ..it just doesn't add up. dates are off if the Birth of Samara and the Burial of her down a well, the disappearance of her Mother and the 2 previous movies happenings etc... its just not possible to fit it all in and still have the Priest such a young man in comparison .It all added up to a Terrible MESS of a film. But taken as a completely stand alone Horror film its more enjoyable, try to forget the 2 previous and Don't even think about the Superior Asian made Originals, America seems to believe they created this and they are running with it .Shocking low rent copy that it is , its no worse than say...Urban Legend...but a lot less entertaining and a lot less Horror involved . If Wet Hair and TV INTERFERENCE Frightens you then you wont be disappointed . Expecting anything more Thrilling , Jumpy or Gory and you will find its pretty lacking . The opening sequence on a Plane is especially confusing but don't let me put you off .

I actually Worked on the costumes of this Movie and still didn't realise what it was until i started watching it... Rather slow and dull little film about Witches in the era of Salem and its Witch Trials/Puritanism in New England etc... Some creepy scenes of an elderly naked witch smearing herself in Blood and fat but very little to make this very watchable. Someone commented they looked on this Movie as the precursor to the 'Autopsy of Jane Doe' and maybe in a way it tells the story of her early life and creation ,but its not officially that and its a rather Romantic notion to say so . However , you may enjoy it if you don't mind its almost Made for TV History for Schools feel. interesting concept. just don't expect a Hollywood Horror Movie.