Film Reviews by porky

Nice idea , Quirky little Story line, but quite badly realised.

Shame ,it really could have been much better .

Old Chums gather to see off a Mutual Friend at a Remote Holiday Cottage Owned by the deceased .

Telling Tales as the day passes ,each tale a mini Scare Story which sadly go nowhere and just fill time .

The Whole Trip turns out to be Nothing like they Expected with a Twist Ending you can kind of see coming a Mile Off .

Worth a Watch ,but don't expect much, Low Budget ,Some pretty Bad Acting from a bunch of British Character and Comedy Actors .

For a Low Budget Horror made in Ireland ,it was Really Very Good and Looks Pretty Hollywood in Budget Size .

Great Acting, Great Effects, Great Story. Deeply Disturbing and Creepy .

Well Worth Seeing more than the once.

Typically Jarmusch slightly off the wall take on the old Zombie Apocalypse Trope.

Very Slow Moving Characters take the Zombie Build up in at Dreamlike Slowness, Reacting as if on Slowdown Drugs in a small town where Nothing much Happens.

Don't expect Belly laughs , it s amusing at best .

Funniest scene in my mind was the New Wave makeup in the morgue scene .

Nicely Acted Parts,All Star Cast ,Very Low Key Script ,Nothing Much Happens At All.

Zombies Take Over with almost No Resistance and the Locals just walking Blindly to their Deaths .

Watchable but only just....you may feel like turning it off half way through out of Boredom .

Of the 3 Annabelle Movies I actually think This one is the Best .Though all of them are pretty lame .

Previously Annabelle did NOTHING .she just sat there doing nothing at all .

This time she actually Does Something ....Finally.

More Watchable than earlier Movies.

For me This was the Least Interesting of All of Rob Zombies Movies.

Sadly Lacking Sid Haig through much of it, this movie lacks any Direction or any Real Story Line.

Baby Carries the Movie as the other 2 main Characters Do Very Little . Otis preferring to Hide and lay low after Breaking Out of Jail than actually Do Anything .

Thank Goodness for Baby or Nothing would have happened .

An Anti Climax after the Power House which was Devils Rejects .

Unusual ,Twisted Tale of Border Customs,Smuggling,Vivisection ,Legendary Creatures,Gender Confusion, Child Theft ,Revenge and Paedophilia .

Such a mixture of Unlikely yet Connected Horrors .

Not Exactly a Horror Movie ,But in a Deeply Strange Way, Very Horrific .

Well Worth Watching ,I Highly Recommend it if you like the Unusual .

This Movie Stinks.

Just Sooooo Bored I stopped watching half way through, I just couldn't take anymore .

Not Scary, Not Interesting, Bad Acting, bad Script, Bad Cast , Bad Story.

Avoid it ,unless you can Sleep , it may help with that .

Don't get this movie thinking it is in Any Way Christmas Based like I did . the fact they have a Christmas Tree at all was probably an after thought to make it a Seasonal Hit or something ,Absolutely NOTHING Christmassy about this monstrosity at all.

This movie is all about Abortion ,Anti Abortionists and Having Babies.

Based in Sunny Australia , a Family that really hates one another gathers for Christmas , but being Australia there is Nothing Festive about it .

One Miserable excuse for a Daughter is having a Baby ,the other Miserable Daughter Wants a Baby and cant get pregnant ,Mum had an Abortion 20 years ago which has been a secret until the 20yo Aborted child comes calling .

Stupid special effects, Stupid Acting, Stupid Characters , Stupid Actions by Everyone involved.

Really Don't Bother .

Bizarre movie about a Cleaner with a Damaged Past and her Employer with a Damaged Present .

Why Anyone would employ someone to Clean that actually looked That Dirty I have No Idea .

Creepy, Disturbing and Twisted . Pretty Grim stuff and Not at all what you are expecting .

Worth a watch , and certainly memorably nasty .but still only a bargain basement production.

Pretty Fun Slasher Movie about Our Favourite Puppet Characters from the 60's being Damaged Killer Robots .

Not Bad Special Effects or Basic Story Line , Sadly some Really Terrible Acting makes it seem Much Worse than it actually is .

Entertaining enough for a few watches.

Good to see they got the Splits looking Bang On Perfect . Would have been Unforgivable had they got them looking Wrong .

Revenge is Sweet when you Chew on the Meat . Ma is a wronged lady ,Brewing on Shame she received back at school from her School Peers.

Stumbling upon a bunch of Kids that happen to be her School time Classmates Teenage Children she hatches a Revenge Plan and Befriends them all .

Personally I was on Ma's Side the whole movie. What a Nasty Bunch of Punk Ass Kids ! and what a Nasty Bunch of Parents they have .

I would have loved to see Ma go on a Killing Spree through the whole damn Town .

Sadly Sue-Anne aka Ma is not a happy woman and Treats her own child Abysmally .Faking her Illnesses and keeping her locked away like a dirty secret .

Creepy Thriller or Social Commentary on P.T.S.D after Mental Abuse ? Ma is a Victim but she also Victimises.

Damaged Goods all round here .Nobody is truly Innocent .

Very Watchable.Very Good Movie.Well Worth Seeing more than the once .

Think 'Play Misty For Me'/'Fatal Attraction/Misery ' style Mentally Deranged Revenge Thriller rather than Full On Psycho Horror.

This was more a Completely New Film than a re-Boot of Child's Play. Beware SPOILERS included in review .

There was absolutely NO Reason to even name it 'Child's Play' other than to get Free Publicity for it from a Backlash from Chucky fans .

Clearly the ONLY reason they tagged it onto the previous franchise as it has Absolutely No Link to that story at all.

What you have here is a more Present Day reworking of that other movie 'AI'

Deliberate Softwear Corruption by a Disgruntled Factory Assembler sets the Doll off on a Learning Curve without limits ,Sadly for the Doll its owner is a nasty Childish BRAT, so the Doll Learns Terrible things .one of which is How to Kill.

If His new owner Andy wasn't such a Bratty Little Sh@t ,teaching him All the Worst things about Humanity, 'Chucky ' would never have been a problem.

Who really is the Monster Here ? in my view ANDY .

Chucky only knows what he is taught .

Interesting Idea, Great Story, I loved that we Follow a Single Garment through different Owners ,Sadly Its Very Badly Put Together .

Long drawn out pauses ,Far Too Slow Story Development ,Irritatingly Slow at Every Turn.

Interesting Set of Characters ,but Wasted on an Overly Arty-Farty Production that Killed the Comedy or the Horror .

Loved the Idea ,I just couldn't sit through it all again if you paid me . Tediously ,Tooth Achingly Slow .

OK , Idea is a nice one,

Lets make a Movie that is a Cross Between Old British Cult Movie 'Wicker man' and American Gore-tastic '2,000 Maniacs' .

Could have been Great but ,To be honest ,the Characters are such a bunch of But-plugs ,you really don't care what happens to them.

If I liked any of them I might have cared more .but they all wore me out with their irritatingly Stupid Ignorance and shallowness.

Movie felt waaay too long, Very Slow moving story line. could have been cut down a lot closer in the edit .Did we really need to know about her family at all ?

I didnt Hate it but I didnt Love it either , it was OK, Just felt Far Too Long and Drawn Out .

Didn't work for me , seemed Desperate for laughs all the way through.

His Character is Irritatingly Stupid and Her Character is Irritatingly Pushy .Not a Good Look for MIB.

Just spent the whole Movie Groaning at all the Stupid Decisions made by Both Characters . like reliving a Mr Bean type Nightmare .