Film Reviews by porky

OK, so its not Great Art , who cares it was Fun.

Massive Shark attacks and Kills Rich People, what could be better than that ?

Perfectly does what it says on the Tin.

Perfectly Entertaining updated version of Jaws .

Pretty low key movie ,less interesting than it sounds.

Looser guy meets looser girl ,she is connected to Gangland Underground and Prostitution ring ,she gets Looser guy a job for letting her stay at his .

he gets involved too deep .

along the way some Cannibalism happens, for no really good reason.and apparently it is habit forming but actually effects the story soo little it is almost an after thought to make a very dull small town Gangster Movie more interesting.

overall it is an OK movie but do go looking for a Horror or Thriller movie , it is Small Town Gangsters doing illegal stuff in a Brothel mostly .

Ok, well not a Good start as the First Copy sent me never arrived ,That should probably have been taken as a Warning !

Finally a DVD arrived and I put it on to play and found myself falling asleep to it.

I tried again t sit and watch t thinking maybe I was just tired , sat with chocolate and Tea and feet up and although my Eyes were looking at the screen absolutely Nothing was gong in.....it was like, ...well sooo Dull I couldn't compute it internally.

sat through all of it for some reason, I should have just turned it off but was just hoping for something to catch my imagination , and finally yes, a small segment in the second half had Robots freeing Robots from captivity,they were going crazy and breaking stuff and dancing on stuff and it was Joyous, I have absolutely No Idea why but they were and it was very funny, that lasted all of 5 minutes , then back to the dull sameness again. Don't even bother .

I have to say that it wasn't in any way Excruciating to watch like 'Phantom Menace' was ,it was just lifelessly Dull.

I wasn't a big fan of the first Deadpool movie so only watched this because it was next on my list out of the newer releases but I think i enjoyed it much more than the first .

It's pretty much the same thing but somehow wittier and has less Forced Humor than the first which just felt irritating.

Entertaining ,Funny and Action Packed. a good afternoons watch .

Entertaining enough as an afternoon comedy but nothing more, I liked it but it isn't worth rushing to see anytime soon.

It comes across as if they intended it too be another Inbetweener's Movie but none of the rest of the cast wanted to do it.so they made it as a stand alone Movie 'Festival' instead .

Basically ALL the usual gags you get in any episode of Inbetweener's and Joe Thomas being exactly the same character only with different friends .and a slightly different girlfriend . but only slightly . if you like Inbetweener's then you will enjoy it .but that is all it really offers .

Predictable and Boring and just WHY ?

4 very stupid girls summon the Slenderman during a sleepover , then each of them denies seeing him everywhere they go during the day and in their sleep at night to one another , so as usual they all indepenently think they are going mad or just imagining stuff and are totally ignoring people going missing all around themas being linked to it at all even though they are constantly being told it is what is happening .Why are Teens in these films always Soo Damn stupid ? Anyway ...that is all that happens . 4 stupid girls and a boogie man .yawwwnfest

Basic and Average Horror . Not Bad over all ,just Obvious and wasn't in any way a shock to realise what was really going on...

The Beginning is far better and gives the impression of better things coming than the ending delivers ,all of which was a bit weak ,silly and rubbish. worth watching just dont expect too much.

Daft people get involved in a demonic game of dare . upset one another with Truth telling and people die from stupid Dares .

has the feel of a good movie like Final Destination at first but really hasnt the sustaining power to keep it up and it just gets silly .

In the end you dont really care much who lives or dies.

OMG This DVD never played when it arrived but I've since seen it on Youtube , It is utter TRIPE .

Don't even Go there ,its a bad 1970's Titialation Horror which isn't in any way Sexy , Frightening or Entertaining.Just Really really Boring .

Massive Yawwwnfest ..give it a miss and watch pain dry instead .

Completely Typical made for TV type stuff, Cheap ,Terrible special effects ,especially any explosions.

Just a silly story about the elixir of life guarded / produced by Funnel web Spiders imported from Australia .

Don't bother watching it. This amateurish rubbish will be on Afternoon TV very soon.

Pretty average Horror movie, comes in 2 Parts so don't expect a complete ending till you see part 2 .

Never rated IT before as a story, This version has Far Better production quality than the made for TV version with Tim Curry but it is still, after all, the same silly story .

Every 27 years a whole lot of Kids go missing . why has no one ever bothered to find out why , except for these seven kids ?

IT is a Monster that lives under the town in the sewers ,often disguised as Pennywise the Clown but in real appearance looks like a Giant Spider,but we don't see that till part 2 . It feeds on Fear .

So expect him to pop up and scare children . but he does very little other than scare them .

For a Regular Mass Killer he seems to do very little actual killing in the movie.

Beautifully made movie ,to be honest it didn't feel like a typical Del Toro movie but more like one made by Jean-Pierre Jeunet (Delecatessen/City of Lost Children) as it was Much more Beautiful ,Gentle and Dream like than Del Toro is normally.

I hadn't fancied seeing it knowing I didnt uch care for Del Toro movies, they usually always have an incredibly irritating child in the cast you just wish wasn't there , but thankfully this time the lead was a fully grown ,though Mute,woman .

But I fell in love with its wonderful other worldliness . Well deserved of Awards .

Well worth a watch if you like Adventure, Love, The Unusual,Fantasy,Spy Drama and Beautiful Visuals.

Pretty Average Possession movie. Group of Stupid Young Adults gather at supposedly Haunted House where a Famous Mass Killing by someone claiming to have been Possessed went Crazy ,have a Seance and wonder why people are being killed left right and center ...Doh! Pretty Obvious Twist at the end .

Entertaining for a short while then I got pretty bored with it .

Goodness me , WHY has this movie got such a High Star Rating ? It is Tediously Dull.

Nothing much happens and when it finally does it is all off screen an over in moments .

What a Pointless Exercise in Tedium Management.

I watched it to the end hoping it would turn Darkly Funny at any moment but it didn't turn into anything, it just went on and on and did nothing .

Really CHEAP and Very Badly Made British Sci-fi Comedy movie which is basically a mix of 'Morons from Outer Space ' and 'Liquid Sky'

Not Funny, Not Clever and Not really very interesting .

Felt like watching an old episode from the 'Comic Strip Presents' series of Comedy Dramas from the 1980's.