Film Reviews by NP

This is a dark, modern-day fairytale you know is lurching further into ridiculousness, but it’s so stylish and well played, that you go along with it anyway.

In what is for the most part a two-hander, Alice Isaaz and Jacqueline Bisset as Julie and Elizabeth are extraordinary good, and the shifting story allows us to view the characters differently as they reveal more about themselves.

For those unable to take the situation seriously, the film does nothing to make events any more palatable. Even at the end, the audience is invited to make up their own minds about what they have just watched. My score is 7 out of 10.

Whatever you were expecting from this film, you probably weren’t expecting what you got. One thing it did for me was confounded my expectations, threatened to bore me, charmed me, and at the end, shocked me into thinking – what?

But that’s good, I suppose, because I imagine all those reactions were what the filmmakers intended. Billed as horror but basically a character study between a man and his partner - he’s a hunter, in love with his life and his house; she’s glimpsed a world beyond that and wants to explore.

The acting is naturalistic and all the characters are very appealing. For a while, I feared that Brea Grant’s role as Abby was simply to look pretty and react to director/writer/actor Jeremy Gardner as Hank. At the mid-point, however, things changed in her favour – and not before time.

The moments of shock are exactly that. We’ve virtually forgotten about the monstrous element by the time it shows up; and yet the moment that stuck most in my memory afterwards is the karaoke scene, which could have been saccharine-sweet, but succeeded in provoking genuine emotion. My score is 7 out of 10.

This is another, and probably most accomplished, film from the prolific Steven M. Smith, who directs and co-writes. Made in the midst of the Covid pandemic, the production isn’t troubled by any effects of the restrictions in place during that time. For that, the team are to be commended.

It’s also good to see Colin Baker, Julian Sands, Michael Ellison and (an almost unrecognisable) Toyah Wilcox here. The acting across the board is mostly good, if not great, with the exception of Louisa Warren as Helen. It gives me no pleasure to say that, especially as she has produced and directed an admirable number of low-budget films that I’ve enjoyed a lot. For such a pivotal role, she lets the side down somewhat, looking uncomfortable in front of the camera.

Although the story has merit, the real killer here is the pacing – there isn’t any. Events build up, occur, and return to the status quo before repeating, without ever really getting anywhere. The music doesn’t help, remaining determinedly bland and placid throughout. Technically, the production is fine and unbothered by issues that often affect independent projects; but I find myself marvelling at how some of the bigger name actors are all seated around a table, whilst possibly being spliced together from separate recordings, rather than being drawn in by the ghostly happenings – which, when they occur, are nicely effective.

Smith and Warren’s run of productions shows no sign of slowing down, looking at their IMDB pages and I follow their run of horror projects with interest. While the results can be uneven, at least they are producing regular genre content. My score for this is 6 out of 10.

From the director responsible for 2004’s wonderful ‘Creep’ Christopher Smith helms this period ghostly mystery horror. While there’s nothing particularly revolutionary about this, the slow-burner story – concerning a family’s deterioration after moving into a haunted house – is told effectively.

There are interesting subplots going on – failures on the part of the otherwise commendable Linus (John Heffernan) pave the way for his descent into instability. Adelaide (Anya McKenna-Bruce), the likeable young daughter is also affected, and we’re never quite sure about poor old Harry (Sean Harris, who was so good as Craig in ‘Creep’), a character rendered (unintentionally?) comical in red wig and music hall garb. Eccentricity and unpredictability within a straightforward plot keep things bubbling nicely.

While it never really achieves greatness, ‘The Banishing’ is a good, spooky way to spend 93 minutes – effective locations, atmospheric cinematography and a tremendous central performance from Jessica Brown Findlay as Marianne ensure a score of 7 out of 10 from me.

A difficult-to-warm-to couple move into a haunted house and the usual creepy things start to occur, very slowly. As events move on, Sasha (Natalia Ryumina) becomes ever more interesting, while hubby Peter (Nick Whitmore) behaves more like a jerk.

What really hurts this film is, given the leisurely pace – which allows us to take in the beautifully photographed Eastern European locations – we’re given very few details as to what is going on. The lack of genuine frights should really have given way to a few more explanations as to the behaviour of certain characters and why events in the comparatively eventful finale are happening – but they don’t. My score is 4 out of 10.

Dracula without Dracula is a literally bloodless adaption for most of its running time, although in many ways one of the most faithful. In some ways, I like the idea of the Lord of Vampires being this whispered name rather than being a tangible character in the film, I like the way we think we’re going to see him – and then we don’t. It’s a grand tease.

It does however mean that you have a film featuring a lot of characters conversing in roughly the same location. There are a few moments when the conversations stop and something dramatic happens, sometimes quite effectively, but it’s very rare, although things perk up towards the end.

This is all about mood, about slowly growing unease, about ‘something’ in the house, and I like that. The filming is crisp, the acting is uniformly very good, and I enjoy the tweaks made to this portion of Stoker’s story. By its very nature, this will be too short on action or indeed horror for many people, but it worked for me. My score is 7 out of 10.

I quite enjoyed this beautifully shot, nicely directed, highly brutal and gratuitous horror film. When we were all a lot younger, it was known as a ‘video nasty’ and gained its reputation by being banned on several levels. I do have reservations, however, and fairly sizeable ones.

A Lucio Fulci film, it suffers from dubbing, which is a turn-off for some viewers. It doesn’t bother me, but some of the voices are inappropriately camp. Secondly, and this is the stinger – there’s no real plot. No sense or feeling of growing jeopardy or effective pacing that would make the gloriously gory moments ever more powerful; the anticipation is the thing, and it’s not allowed in this choppy narrative.

Ultimately, it seems to be a series of set-pieces strung together in which to highlight particularly gruesome moments, but without context in a comprehensible story, isn’t as effective as it could be. My score is 6 out of 10.

This is a sequel to one of the most notorious horror films ever made and brings back writer/director Meir Zarchi, who was 80 at the time. Camille Keaton, who played original main character Jennifer Hills forty years earlier, also returns.

Two things become apparent as you watch: ‘I Spit on your Grave Déjà Vu isn’t very good. Secondly, at nearly two and a half hours, it is far, far too long. Every scene outstays its welcome, so any pacing or drama is completely squashed. The acting is mixed – sadly Keaton is probably the weakest performer.

Hills is joined here by her daughter Christy (Jamie Bernadette), and after a lengthy scene in which the two characters explain each other’s lives to the audience, they’re kidnapped in a protracted, and very noisy, scene in what looks like a car park. Not only does no one notice, but all the subsequent bouts of yelling and hollering are never challenged either. The only characters in the film seem to be the two women and their redneck antagonists. No one else seems to exist. In between the yelling, the lines of dialogue are often unspeakable, and the deaths are contrived, unimaginative, ridiculous and – guess what? – overlong (although I didn’t see the first decapitation coming).

When you think it’s going to end, it doesn’t. When it does, you wonder what you’ve just watched. 4 out of 10.

I’ll move quickly over the UK actors forced to speak with American actors, as well the leading lady’s plasticity and on to the film itself – anything with ‘Exorcism’ in the title promises the kind of thing you’ve seen several times before, ever since 1973’s ground-breaking ‘Exorcist’. Does this modestly budgeted production offer anything fresh?

You have to wait an hour before an exorcism goes through its familiar patterns. It’s pretty tame when it does, although Karen gets to call Rula Lenska a c**k sucker, which is unforgivable!

Although events occasionally seem to be moving into interesting horror territory, this never truly materialises, although the end is interesting. My score is 5 out of 10.

This begins as an excellent, thoughtful horror film about a young feral girl taken in by a school for troubled teens. We’re presented with the undeniable possibility that in many ways, young Darlin’ (Lauryn Canny) might have been better off with her ferocious animal-like mother. Her ferocious, animal-like mother (Pollyanna McKintosh) has that impression too and is never far behind.

Written and directed by the ‘Woman’ star McKintosh (this is actually a sequel to that 2011 film, although isn’t really billed as such), this meandering story of outsiders, hypocrisy, social rank, vagaries of the establishment and (happily) of cannibalism slowly bleeds away into an odd mishmash of styles that are further and further removed from the style of the original.

To invite our sympathies with the waif, her antagonists are so outrageously cruel to her, and their cruelty laid on with no subtlety whatsoever, that the admirable message of the film is muddied somewhat.

As events unfold, it loses its way and the potential becomes fragmented and squandered, going from promising to bizarre to ridiculous. As you watch, you can feel the intrigue and horror drain away into pantomime silliness, and that’s a real shame. 4 out of 10.

After a written, grammatically challenged monologue telling us the following story is based on true life events, we enter into the world of Jacob and Shawn (Justin Duncan and Gerald Crum) as they steal a supposedly haunted doll to increase their online popularity.

This is clearly a deliberately comedic production and proves reasonably successful, whilst also displaying a typically low-key ‘independent movie’ feel, that actually feeds into the occasional feeling of unease. While this is all fairly successful, there are also many moments where the jokey attitude drags things down. You get fed up with their antics sooner than they do. 4 out of 10.

This is a decent, well directed UK horror that just misses the mark. The story is interesting, and keeps itself watchable due to many shifts and revelations – but the antagonist and idea of the initial set-up are too similar to Jeepers Creepers 2 not to invite comparisons, and the ‘misunderstood’ character of Reggie is too much of a nasty little poser to ever side with. But then, I think we’re supposed to cheer when the nerdy girl gives the monster the one-fingered salute and calls it a ‘****ing piece of s***.’

The young cast does lend this caper a kind of more serious Scooby Doo vibe. Other than that, this is a mildly horrific way of spending 77 minutes. My score is 6 out of 10.

A bus load of misbehaving teens find themselves in a sinister funfair, but they are being watched by … something, or someone.

Tony Todd, who features briefly here, seems to have earmarked himself a career appearing in films like this. Modest productions that occasionally attempt to offer something new. In that, ‘The Accursed’ partially succeeds.

The usual collection of bratty kids is given slightly more depth than usual, their backstories making them more than the usual cyphers this kind of film usually features. This doesn’t stop them from being irritating, but at least they’re supposedly meant to be; damaged youths, as opposed to permanently drunk/horny teens.

The setting is what makes this stand out. I find seaside towns, funfairs, circuses and the like incredibly sinister when ‘out of season’, or, as here, simply abandoned. The funfair setting is quite well utilised. The story has enough twists and turns to keep it interesting. My score is 6 out of 10.

Horror comedies are a tricky business – humour is so subjective, it could make or break a production. I warmed to this – ironic given the snowbound location – immediately when a diner, interrupted by two louts, asks one of them, “Do you have the internet in this town?”

“Yeah, we have the internet.”

“Then why not use it? You could teach your mom how to read.”

There’s a caustic wit on display that runs all the way through, and balances out the genuinely nasty moments of gore, as well as softening the characters. Also, I love snowbound, isolated towns as locations for scary stories.

Jim Cummings writes, directs and plays the lead role in this. This is also the final film to star veteran actor Robert Forster. This is well acted across the board, by a cast who really seem to ‘get’ the quick-fire nuances and can balance them out with a growing sense of unease.

However - not all the jokes land, and sometimes scenes are over-filled with yelled expletives above anything else. Also, the balance isn’t always there – scenes that could be really horrific are undermined by swift cut-jumps to jokey reactions and comedy music. 5 out of 10.

This is a dark and dingy, often candle-lit horror that flits between richly atmospheric scenes and an abundance of CGI, which – unless you have squillions to spend – cheapens the overall effect.

It’s heightened by its very talented cast and its often fast pacing – there’s a lot going on, all of which deserve a second viewing to get to grips with it all. The effects work adds to the occasionally disjointed narrative, but CGI is (thankfully) never allowed to become dominant, enabling the performances to shine. I recommend this dark tale. 7 out of 10.