Film Reviews by NP

Initially, this film reminded me of a modern version of 1932’s ‘The Old Dark House’, in which a group of strangers meet up and navigate their way through an awkward evening, where every word and sentiment is laced with some cryptic double-meaning, before events take on a more horrific note.

Here, we meet Will (Logan Marshall-Green), someone so determinedly uncomfortable, it seems there aren’t enough egg-shells in the room to walk on around him. When we (and his outstandingly loyal girlfriend Kira, played by Emayatzy Corinealdi ) meet his group of friends (and his ex-wife Eden, played by Tammy Blanchard) who have organized the reunion in which the story takes place, we feel he has every reason to be so tense.

As is often the case, I enjoyed the ‘journey’ more than the ‘destination’. The finale I found too vague, although the open-ended nature of events is scary. My score for this compelling and stylish production is 7 out of 10.

A lengthy opening section of this film takes place in 1968, with a fairly dysfunctional family indulging in varying degrees of cruelty. It’s a weird little piece, and a good deal more frightening than what happens for a while afterwards.

Before it outstays its welcome, we’re up to the present day. Cue the ‘group of friends’ we always find in these kinds of films – here, they are four chirpy college girls who end a lot of their sentences with ‘I love you.’. They are, of course, staying in the house where the various mis-deeds occurred all those years before, and find the whole thing a hoot. There’s even a ‘dirty door’ at the end of the hall.

We spend rather too long in the company of these young people, but that’s okay because apart from perhaps being a little too cheerful, they are an appealingly wholesome group. The little girl, Irene, is played especially well, by Shae Smolik. As the token juvenile, she’s very sweet, and yet becomes less so later on.

We have to wait a while, but when things get creepy, there are some nice jump scares, competent acting and an ultimately tragic central plot-line. The story of malevolent spirits has been done many times before, of course, but this is well-made, well-directed and not a bad way to spend 95 minutes. My score is 7 out of 10.

This begins as a very appealing film about Oz (Chase Williamson), who meets Tess (Fabienne Thereze) – two happily ‘nerdy’ young people who love playing, and are very knowledgeable of, arcade games. Oz is games technician in a store due to be closed down, and they discover an arcade machine not seen before in the shop. As they play it against their better instincts, it displays unknowable powers …

That’s about as much of the story revealed without going into deep spoiler territory.

The genuinely delightful romance that blossoms between these two slightly eccentric outcasts remains the best thing about this. The horror elements, which straddle the kind of world HP Lovecraft wrote about and David Cronenberg directed, are unusual, bizarre, mostly unexplainable and increasingly fragmented.

The latter half of the film gives itself entirely to this strange world, and the story, such as it is, becomes redundant. This is a shame, because it seems to go nowhere, until an equally strange finale comes along and ushers in the end credits.

I applaud director and writer Graham Skipper for going for something different, but the result doesn’t quite satisfy, despite the naturalistic and appealing performances from the main players. My score is 5 out of 10, mainly for the first half.

As a novice film reviewer of absolutely no repute whatsoever, I had never heard of Richard Stanley prior to the events surrounding the creation of 1996’s ‘The Island of Doctor Moreau’. When first viewing him here, he struck me as someone who fancied himself a little arty, weird and interesting. Indeed, other crewmembers interviewed for this documentary regularly describe him as being ‘unusual’. My feelings toward Stanley went from that to feeling desperately sorry for him: a director, for whom a series of unimaginable catastrophes lost him his reason. 100 minutes later as the end credits rolled, I found myself liking him a lot, and feeling pleased that the disastrous happenings behind the scenes of the 1996 film didn’t seem to have irretrievably broken his spirit.

In fact, it is with some relief that none of the cast or crew interviewed seemed to remain undamaged, and have not lost their sense of humour, after their experiences recounted in this compellingly documented diary of miss-haps.

‘The Island of Doctor Moreau’ is one of HG Wells’ greatest stories, building on horror and ego and great tragedy when one person tries to become God. Not a million miles away from Frankenstein in that regard – and not a million miles away from the incredible egos of two of the film’s main stars, that had long since transcended any effort to contain them.

For all those interviewed, I was surprised that David Thewlis, one of the main players, was mentioned so briefly – just once, as I recall, with a cursory mention of him being brought in to replace another actor who had grown completely and understandably disenchanted with the shambolic nature of the filming.

The anecdotes range from hugely unfortunate to laugh-out-loud hilarious, as recalled by Marco Hofschneider, Fairuza Balk and Stanley himself, amongst many others, all hugely personable and full of incredible remembrances. It is entirely possible that, with Stanley’s inclusion, and the lack of Kilmer, Brando or replacement director John Frankenheimer (the latter two having passed away), that memories are presented in Stanley’s favour – we’ll probably never know – but the results form the basis of one of the most fascinating and bizarre behind-the-scenes documentaries I have ever seen. It doesn’t matter if you have never seen the 1996 film, I recommend this unreservedly. My score is 9 out of 10.

Watching this film begins like a textbook example of why I love gialli so much. Stunning locations, a strident soundtrack (Stelvio Cipriani is the maestro here), shrieking women and bloodiest blood you ever saw. What is lacking here compared to other giallo films, however, is the usually meticulously manicured leading man – thick of moustache, lustrous hair, heavy of eyeliner – possibly because instead of a sundrenched Mediterranean location, events here take place in a chilly, often rain-soaked Dublin. Instead we have cigar chomping Anton Diffring, who may as well have ‘villain’ tattooed on his forehead, and exotic Dagmar Lassander - and a ubiquitous pair of smoky sunglasses, which always comes accompanied by a glassy sting of doom-laden music.

Despite the change in scenery, this is a typical, striking, solid giallo business as usual: an occasionally muggy storyline, some nasty moments and exotic kills in rooms with high ceilings, a seemingly sluggish police force and sporadic bouts of nudity.

Although the inevitable reveal in the finale was a let-down for me, the surrounding scenes are embellished with a real sense of perverse evil and fast-paced violence typical of the genre. My score is 6 out of 10.

This is a horror tale much in the same vein as the increasingly prolific mould of micro-budget productions by Andrew Jones (‘Robert the Doll’ etc) and Louisa Warren (‘Tooth Fairy’). These projects are often enjoyable, but afflicted with recurring problems typical of low-budget ventures. Happily, this film has managed to avoid a lot of the pitfalls of hard-to-hear dialogue and lack of suspense. Some of the acting is unconvincing, but Faye Goodwin as Amy and Claire-Maria Fox as Vanessa are strong enough to carry things along nicely.

Left Films’ story about a vengeful witch is slightly more pacey than you might expect, too, but still has a listlessness about it that drags many of the early scenes down. Characters will reel off the names of relatives taken by the witch as if they were recalling missing items off their shopping list – but at least attempts are made to frighten, and the Yuletide setting adds some creepy variants on the theme, as well as some measured, festive kills from Frau Perchta (a creepy performance from Tara MacGowran).

Some nice sweeping camera shots, good gore effects and a gleefully satisfying twist at the end involving the seemingly unstoppable witch. This gets better as it goes along. My score is 6 out of 10.

Described as ‘neo-noir’, Nocturnal Animals is one of those films that’s ‘bigger’ than us. That is, it is a production so meticulously put together, and exploring so deeply its own narrative, it isn’t even satisfied to tell only one story: it tells three.

It requires concentration to notice what is being told in present time, in flashback, and also the long moments taken from the book written by the character of Edward Sheffield (Jake Gyllenhaal) – these moments, it should be noted, are from the perspective of ex-wife Susan Morrow (Amy Adams). If any confusion does arise from this, it all clears up as time goes on, and the beautiful cinematic flourishes (Director and Producer Tom Ford has a reputation for rewarding those who watch closely) are a wonderful diversion.

By being ‘bigger’ than us, I mean that every level of ‘Nocturnal Animals’ features people at the top of their game, from the utterly brilliant actors to the extraordinary production values, to Abel Korzeniowski’s heart-rending musical score. By being ‘bigger’ than us, it doesn’t even have to bother with closure for some of its characters – by the heart-breaking close, which is too open-ended for some, you wonder what happens to some of the characters you’ve become so heavily invested in. The film doesn’t even have to rely on excessive gore or horror to make you despair for their fate.

Six stoned, horny twits decide to take a shortcut on their trip to Vegas. Rachel (Catherine Wreford), Liz (Tiffany Kristensen), Atlanta (Ashley Rebecca Hawkins), Sophie (Myiea Coy) and Adam (Tom Nagel), and squealy beefcake Mark (Alan Ritchson) are collectively furious when their journey is sabotaged by razor wire. Mark pouts a little more and almost instantly proves himself to be the biggest idiot of all in this lacklustre bunch. Whatever becomes of them in this ‘Wrong Turn/The Hills Have Eyes/Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ amalgam, it had better be nasty.

Despite peppering the fast-moving storyline with influences from more polished films, this soon becomes a little dull. The shrieking and witless attempts to escape the gang’s increasingly desperate situation becomes commonplace, mainly because as usual, the characters aren’t particularly interesting or likeable. Also, the audience is always one step ahead of them, making them appear stupid – but then, they were never presented as anything else.

Yet, ‘The Butcher’ moves along nicely, we don’t have to wait too long until horrible things begin happening, it’s nicely shot and competently acted. The young ciphers make a lot of questionable decisions, but despite their initially crass attempts to have a good time, are far from the worst I have seen of this type. There are also some nice twists along the way and some genuinely gruesome moments. The films makes absolutely no apology for blatantly taking ideas from elsewhere, and I quite admire them for such shamelessness. My score is 6 out of 10.

Two outsized birds escape captivity and cause CGI havoc amongst a cast who appear to be having a great time. Such ebullience is addictive, and if you’re in the mood, this is pretty good fun, on a strictly Scooby-Doo level.

Dumb adults and funny, smart-arse cute teens (of whom, my favourite might well be constantly sniping Taylor - Lindsey Sporrer - the silliest of all) hog too much of the running time when what we really want to see is some decently rendered birds pecking some poor blighter to death. This being a fairly family ‘friendly’ ScyFy project, there are no profanities and nothing too shocking.

My score is 6 out of 10.

The teaming of Christopher Lee (Hanson), Peter Cushing (Callum) and Terence Fisher (Director) often means great things. Praised and in some cases worshipped for his work on Hammer’s early Dracula and Frankenstein films, Fisher’s magic wasn’t all-reaching – in my view, subsequent Werewolf and Mummy films were a little dull. So too, were Fisher’s occasional exercises in sci-fi.

Night of the Big Heat reminds me of the previous year’s Island of Terror – both feature an isolated community filled with stoical British folk fighting some mostly unseen alien horror. The former film, however, didn’t boast the talents of Jane Merrow. Despite sterling performances from the cast, it is Merrow’s sultry, slutty, manipulative Angela Roberts steals the show. So rushed is the ending that she is robbed of any kind of closure, which is one of the disappointments this production has to offer.

That this is a low budget affair is not an obstacle – the effects are crude but charming, and very brief. Planet Films were a short-lived company who often managed to attract big names, despite distributing more films than they produced. The fact is, it is very talky. Very talky indeed, despite the urgency the cast injects. Patrick Allen gruffly plays the flawed hero, Sarah Lawson as his loyal wife Frankie, very often undermined by the cocky Roberts. In fact, this love triangle is more interesting than the central plot, which sees the reliable Cushing relegated to a secondary role and Lee doing his usual grumpy academic. William Lucas, Kenneth Cope and a miss-spelled Percy Herbert also star.

Additional dialogue is provided by prolific Pip and Jane Baker, who went on to oversee the departure of Colin Baker and subsequent arrival of Sylvester McCoy in late Eighties Doctor Who.

My score is 6 out of 10.

Home alone, Stephanie (Shree Crooks) and her friend Francis goes about the business of looking after herself. Her food preparation, teeth cleaning and story-reading exploits are directed in such a way (by Akiva Goldsman) that the audience is constantly on edge concerning her safety. Stephanie is about ten years old and it becomes obvious her parents are not away on a night out: she is alone. Apart from Francis, who is a toy dinosaur. Shree is charming company, which is more than can be said for the mysterious entity that occupies her huge house.

Moody and brooding, these early moments are handled so deftly that, as a seasoned horror film fan, I was worried about something horrible happening to Stephanie. If something horrible happened to Francis, I’d be mortified.

And then her parents return home.

The bursts of television news that punctuate the action have a grim relevance as I write this. Three years after this film was made, we endure our own worldwide pandemic – and it’s a pandemic that seems to be keeping the outside world far from Stephanie and her family and their plight – but what has caused it? The specifics of all of these things are kept carefully under wraps until the very end. It’s well worth sticking around for.

… in which Salvidor (Max Bennett) – ‘the pretty one’ – and Art (Michael Winder) – ‘the ugly one’ – meet up and decide to raise enough money to go to Egypt. On their way, they meet a variety of extreme and brilliantly played characters. Sadie Frost, Sally Philips and Noel Fielding (now co-host of family-friendly cookery shows, here playing a foul-mouthed sex-crazed cross-dresser) are exceptional in these roles. David Hoyle plays probably the most affecting of them all, a down-on-his luck, tired old magician. His character in particular represents what ‘Set the Thames on Fire’ is all about – extravagant and often hilarious superficiality hiding a pure, terminal melancholy.

To say this film is merely a ‘great experience’ is difficult, because the heart of it is difficult to pinpoint. It has been described as a tragicomedy, and uses its low-budget as an advantage, making deliberately dream-like locations and architecture with only one foot in reality.

It is sick, seedy and tragic – so how then, is it also so genuinely funny? A skilful balancing act on behalf of director and writer Ben Charles Edwards and Al Joshua, that’s how.

It reminds me in part of 1989’s extraordinary ‘Sante Sangre’ in its absurdist setting, with characters that seem inaccessibly strange, but that are in possession of real humility once we get to know them.

My score is 8 out of 10.

I liked this undemanding horror film. It isn’t going to reinvent the concept of fear, but it doesn’t try to. The bratty kids we are supposed to dislike are thoroughly dislikeable, and equally, the good guys are appealing enough for us to enjoy spending time with.

The idea of a Chinese wish box is a good one, but it does seem to take Clare (Joey King) an awfully long time to realise that a Chinese wish box … grants wishes. However, there’s a price to pay, and this results in some of the few gory scenes ‘Wish Upon’ has to offer (including one truly wince-inducing episode involving a sink’s rubbish dispenser).

It keeps you guessing what is going to happen right until the final frame. It’s a twist so effective, you won’t get any spoilers form me. 8 out of 10.

It’s difficult to know what to make of this. The first few scenes made me think the production was a spoof, so incredible were the casting choices. Jen (Claudine-Helene Aumord) is visited by her resentful daughter Carla (Claire-Maria Fox), who looks exactly the same age. Father Rueben (Will Dodd) looks even younger, resplendent with a few grey flecks of hair and growling for all he’s worth to convince us of his ‘advanced’ years. It’s difficult to think of a worse start to a film.

Things improve slightly when the Tooth Fairy turns up, all distorted voice and Halloween mask. Suddenly, there’s a bit of gore and the tantalising idea of people suffering other peoples’ pain when having their teeth hammered out. In among the grubby soap-opera-level squabbles, the creature is revealed as a family curse, in a series of flashbacks spread throughout. All accompanied by the strains of a mournful piano.

This is an independent film, and I like independent films. And yet it suffers more than most with its limitations - it has no pace, and the acting varies from scene to scene. Even so, the location is beautiful and well-photographed and some moments are well directed. My score is 5 out of 10.

Three young film-makers travel into the middle of isolated forest area to find out about a legendary monster. Sound familiar? 1999’s ‘The Blair Wiutch Project’ has spawned a great many found-footage films like this, some of which are rather banal, and some – like this one – are very good indeed.

Jenny, Ethan and Ryan (Jennifer Armour, Jeremy Isabella and Paul S. Tracey) are all personable and natural, as are those they meet. The Ukrainian location and characters seem genuine and entirely believable. There’s little time wasted in building up the story. When the film begins, the characters are already there, ready to start recording. And things get creepy pretty quickly …

Of course, you could say that many of the events trotted out here are horror/found-footage cliché, but I have no problem with that when they are done this well and immersed in such an inhospitable, run-down location (including some horribly claustrophobic subterranean shots) – freezing cold as well, by the look. Many acclaimed horror projects feature moments dismissed as cliché – the haunted house, misty graveyard, characters acting illogically to further the drama, jump-scares, apparitions etc. It all depends on how they are handled.

As a found-footage cannibal ghost story, this is unnerving and well produced. The occasionally glimpsed spirit of Andrei Chikatilo is effectively sinister. At the risk of sounding like the ageing horror fan I am, the profanities thrown about might be a little excessive. Did I really say that, and does it matter these days? My score is 8 out of 10.