Film Reviews by NP

When you have the same person writing, directing and starring in a production such as this, it can often be an unrefined ego project, with no one on board to reign in the excesses of the ubiquitous creator. Occasionally, a very personal and very successful outcome can occur, such as is the case here.

Jeremy Gardner plays Ben, outwardly a stoner and a bit of a layabout, and inwardly - especially when the chips are down - a methodical thinker and unlikely to panic in frightening situations. In 'The Battery', frightening situations are the name of the game, and Ben is the kind of person you need around. That's not to say he's entirely successful in evading the mass hordes of the living dead who inhabit the world following some kind of apocalyptic zombie holocaust.

This film examines the often unspectacular, grinding reality of such an occurrence. It does so without frills and is all the more effective for that. Ben and Mickey have been thrown together and their relationship produces moments of bleak humour. This is tested throughout, but never more so than during the last act, when the resilience of the marauding antagonists is exploited in a gruelling manner.

2018’s ‘The Bad Nun’ gets a sequel, again produced, directed and written by the extraordinarily prolific Scott Jeffrey and featuring a return for Becca Hirani’s character Aesha Wadia. We don’t have to hang around long before shadowy, habit-shrouded shapes start appearing in doorways and windows. Politely, our antagonist always knocks first, which is a creepy courtesy – we know the faceless creature is likely to come in anyway.

This is a considerable step up from the first film – the pacing is sharper, the dialogue more natural and the Nun is genuinely creepy. It’s not a stellar production, but it features some good shots, a nicely isolated location and some fairly likeable leads. Also, the story is a good one, with convincing reasons given for the murders. The twist at the end is signposted, but in a way that doesn’t necessarily reveal anything too early.

Jeffrey’s schedule is mind-boggling. According to IMDB, he’s produced 144 films in eight years, and I happen to have seen quite a few of the more horror-infused ones. Technically, they have become more impressive and the stories more engaging over time. His 2023 offering has received more notoriety than most because its subject matter, ‘Winnie the Pooh’ has been given a slasher makeover. His upcoming ‘Bambi: the Reckoning’ suggest the theme might become a recurring one. My score is 8 out of 10.

Director Riccardo Paoletti has managed to weave a dark fairy-tale out of Manuela Cacciamani and Carlo Longo stark and tragic horror story that is hugely enjoyable. We're given a selection of characters, some of whom appear to be 'good' and others 'bad'. However, we're not given to judge them, simply to go along with their actions and interactions and make up our own minds. The ending is bittersweet, and it's up to the audience to decide whether the outcome is the correct one.

I love films that challenge us in this way, rather than hand every emotion to us on a plate. It's also beautifully photographed and convincingly acted. It's a slow story that gives us the chance to get to know the characters as events slowly spiral into more twisted, demented places. The plot isn't entirely watertight, but the holes only occur after the credits have finished rolling - for the duration, you are captivated and intrigued - and horrified - enough by the story not to let such things distract.

My score is 9 out of 10.

Steve Lawson delivers once more an intelligent, dialogue-heavy, atmospheric period piece – this time with a twist on ‘The Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Mr Hyde’ novella.

Michael McKell is very good as the titular character (and sings the excellent closing theme too – a very talented individual). My only gripe is probably a very personal one; during moments of humour – and there is a handful amidst this grim tale – we are treated to strains of ‘comedy music’. Plink plonks accompany each sideward glance and awkward smile. It’s unnecessary – don’t do it (this is general advice, not exclusive to this production)!

The fairly sizable tweaks that have been made to the classic original story seem mainly to allow the low budget to adequately convey events (shades of early Hammer classic adaptions). Therefore, there are many scenes, especially near the end, where characters spend a great deal of time explaining the plot and gloating over their cleverness. An interesting spin – not perfect of course, but a production given the care and attention that’s become associated with Steve Lawson’s projects. My score is 7 out of 10.

‘Ditched’ is an interesting and unusual Canadian horror story with a unique directorial style and a truly superb electronic soundtrack by Clayton Worbeck (I wish it was available to buy – can’t find it anywhere).

At the centre of this lies a storyline that is not unfamiliar. The twist at the end places the tale in familiar territory, but where this succeeds is in the way the tale is told. We begin at a point where the action has already started and the cast of characters attempts to piece events together alongside the audience. The dialogue is sometimes irritating (too much of the ‘we can *do* this’ grandstanding).

The cinematography is unusual and striking, with key moments and characters often obscured by sickly yellow/red lighting. Viewers should be warned that the continual flashing of lights might induce additional discomfort – but although overused, it works very well ensuring that nothing appears to be quite real.

The third act is when the increasingly confusing narrative becomes a mix of lengthy exposition and events that ask too much of the audience. Far too much talking deadens the atmosphere, which is a shame. A definite case of the journey proving more enjoyable than the destination, in my view. My score is 5 out of 10.

The locations and cinematography are excellent, with establishing scenes often shot through a slight misty autumnal haze, which is very effective. The acting is mixed – some lines are garbled on occasion, but what lets this down is the lack of incident in a very dull and uneventful story.

There is a lot of dialogue issued from curiously underwritten characters. For example, the estranged Frank (Jimmy 'The Bee' Bennett – also the film’s location manager) is treated with contempt by former partner Ingrid (Rose Hakki) and admits he deserves such treatment, but it’s never explained why. From the evidence onscreen, he seems a fairly decent character. Cult actress Rula Lenska is Omi, and it is to her we return during the course of the film where she is given reams of static exposition to unload.

This is a real shame as much of the production is really good. The pace is leaden, any frights are few and far between. It’s not really a spoiler to say that we do see the witch from the title … for a total of about ten seconds, mainly in the anti-climactic finale.

Director and writer Richard John Taylor has helmed a number of productions, many of them gangster yarns (starring the late Leslie Grantham, to whom the production company – Hello Princess - is dedicated). A strong co-writer or script editor would do wonders for future endeavours. A real mixed bag; my score is 4 out of 10.

If you read articles about ‘Morbius the Living Vampire’, you’ll doubtless be reminded how it was one of the biggest flops of 2022. It only made a few squillion dollars profit instead of *loads* of squillions of dollars profit. In the high-flying world of big-budget mainstream films, of franchise ‘universes’, a mediocre performance is unforgivable.

The film itself I found to be okay. The pacing dragged somewhat in the middle, which made me question why it was given 104 minutes of runtime instead of something leaner. The acting from Jared Leto as the title character Michael Morbius is good, supported by a surprisingly flat turn from Matt Smith as his pal Milo – although it's curiously wonderful to hear the former Doctor Who say ‘ar*ehole.’ We also get your typical husky, strutting, growling cop, and there are a few other sundry characters we never really get to know.

Michael conducts a series of blood experiments to cure his malady and that of his friend. It’s no spoiler that he becomes vampirised, but isn’t fazed by daylight or crucifixes and looks smashing with his shirt off.

Overall, the film is average, but with some very good set-pieces. It looks spectacular, of course, in the way that all mainstream films do. Possibly the reason it is perceived as a failure is that it tries to appeal to fans of superheroes as well as horror hounds and ends up satisfying neither. Minus points for the CGI-fest in the final scenes; there are also a couple of tie-ins mid/post credits to the bigger Marvel Universe which will be meaningless unless you’re familiar with other brands and franchises in the factory such films have become. My score is 5 out of 10.

This Finnish horror film starts in a world of pure (and slightly nauseating) ‘loveliness’. The unnamed Mother (Sophia Heikkilä), often equipped with a selfie stick on which to record her regular, wholesome vlogs, is the centrepiece of a blissful and well-off family unit. Except things aren’t quite so blissful.

Slowly, director and co-writer Hanna Bergholm (in her debut film) introduces an element of not-quite-rightness in Mother’s manner. Father (Jani Volanen) also extols a sweet tolerance of events that strays into … the unusual. At the centre of it all, daughter Tinja (a remarkable performance from Siiri Solalinna) tolerates it all, together with occasional ritualistic bullying from her (underwritten) brother and the addition to the family of an outsized bird’s egg.

This is when things become stranger still.

I like films that are difficult to define, and this falls into that category, although ‘psychological body horror’ might just cover it. And yet ‘Hatching’ is also enjoyable simply by sitting back and seeing in which direction events turn and how the characters react to them. By the end, things have moved on to the ‘next’ stage of strangeness, but you get the impression it isn’t quite the end of the story. My score is 8 out of 10.

A host of wonderful, veteran British faces pop up in this thriller/horror directed by Michael Anderson who, with Jenny Agutter, would bring ‘Logan’s Run’ to a cinema near you a few years later. Underused thesps Jack Warden, Ron Moody, and Flora Robson (who beneath her wig, looks uncannily like Peter Cushing!) support the magnificent Jean Simmons as the titular character. Playing her husband David is Cliff Robertson, an actor who gives a good performance despite never appearing to actually *do* anything. Simon Ward plays David’s newly hired chauffeur.

As a horror film, this doesn’t quite work. It’s much more satisfying to be viewed as a steady thriller with creepy elements. Some say the twists and turns in the plot are predictable, but I was happy to go along with it all - even its admittedly overloaded finale. The direction is moody, the cinematography Bava-esque rich, and much use is made of silence at pivotal moments, which is a refreshing alternative to an over-saturating score the like of which are often served up in productions of this nature.

Jean Simmons steals it though – alive or dead! My score is 7 out of 10.

This is a foggy slice of low-budget folk horror in the mould of The Wicker Man. The cinematography is excellent, the choice of locations inspired and the acting helps convey a growing sense of foreboding.

For a slow-moving story, what hurts this production is inconsistent pacing. Much time is taken up with immersing the viewer in the heavy atmosphere, and yet some key moments and plot points are given short shrift. The ongoing business of the ring worn by Rebecca (Beth Park) for example, is given scant explanation, and the figure in the window that bookends the story looks very unsettling, but again isn’t given any reason to be there.

It isn’t always necessary to tie up all the loose ends in a tale such as this – often the continuing mystery fuels the chills, but the lack of reasoning behind certain events prevents the growing horrors from being as effective as they otherwise could be.

Other than that, I really enjoyed this. Rebecca and her partner Jason (Robert Vernon) are good company, and we have every reason to side with them as things get progressively worrying. As the villagers, Richard Hope as Charles and Therese Bradley as Maddy are especially good. Unfortunate CGI effects notwithstanding, I enjoyed this despite the inconsistencies. My score is 7 out of 10.

Strange how, outlandish as they were, the fashions of the early ‘70s leant giallo films a certain sense of style and identity – whereas the overt use of make-up and perms and shoulder pads of the ‘80s look hugely, and comparatively ghoulishly, dated. The male characters are fairly non-descript, heavily chauvinistic but less Neanderthal than their counterparts from a decade earlier; the women all saunter around like they’re Joan Collins; unsurprising perhaps, as the famous actress’s arrival in the TV series ‘Dynasty’ had helped turn it into a continual ratings juggernaut around the time of this film’s conception.

Scratching beneath the brashness of the decade’s veneer, ‘Delirium’ is directed by Lamberto Bava, who seems to promote style over substance. That’s not to say the story is bad, just difficult to engage with. The main character Gloria (Serena Grandi) looks terrific – again heavily manicured, made up and blow-dried – but isn’t really much of character. When the kills occur, they are accompanied by chunky guitar music and the victims assume curious identities (one becomes an insect, another has her head turned into a giant eye). As is often the case, the deaths provide the film's highlights.

It could be said that all gialli is style over substance, so ‘Delirium’ is running to the genre’s form, but it isn’t quite as engaging here as at the height of their popularity, and the musical score is lackluster. My score is 6 out of 10.

Idris Elba gains an American accent for his role as Nate Samuels, doctor, and lion fighter (wisely opting for a ‘soft’ inflection), and is very effective in this nicely directed, fast-moving thriller. He’s ably supported by Sharlto Copley as Martin, and Leah Jeffries and Iyana Halley as his daughters Norah and Meredith.

Visually, the production is near flawless, with the various lions presented as a mixture of real-life and commendably restrained CGI, and the story is a good rush of increasingly dangerous situations.

I read some criticisms that the youngsters behave in an illogical manner. My argument is that bad decisions have long been a lynchpin of this kind of film, even before Dwight Frye’s Renfield ignored the impassioned advice of the locals and decided to travel to the castle in 1931’s ‘Dracula’. If everyone had behaved sensibly and stayed where they were and waited for help, what a short and uneventful film it would be. My score is 8 out of 10.

Prolific UK filmmaker Charlie Steeds writes, directs and edits this medieval horror chiller based on the infamous legend. As usual, this is a slim-budgeted venture, but Steeds enlivens scenes with some terrific cinematography and lighting and some (mainly) convincing acting. The playful, sometimes coarse, humour prevalent in some of the director’s other productions is mainly absent here – instead, gratuity and gore is the main staple.

I really like these kinds of productions, and currently, there are plenty being made in the UK. They remind me of a modern-day Hammer style (the titles here are extremely reminiscent of the legendary studio’s output and locations look similarly winter-bound).

It isn’t flawless. The pace slackens here and there, some of the performances are not as sharp as they might be and occasionally the dialogue is anachronistic – but the story is a good one and well told. Happily, there are also some effectively creepy moments (and a particularly nasty third act). My score is 7 out of 10.

This film, by Charlie Steeds (who is also behind such bloody extravaganzas as Barge People and A Werewolf in England amongst others), features Billy (David Lenik) and Agnes (Rowena Bentley), who are holed up together in Mama Agnes’s log cabin. Despite Bentley's extravagant playing, this production is serious - even tragic - in tone, unlike some of Steeds' other work.

I enjoyed this. The feeling of icy isolation is exemplified by the excellent score. The supporting cast is not quite as convincing as the main two and it’s something of a relief they only occupy a small amount of screen time, as does the main monster figure, featured on the promotional packaging. When we see the creature, he is very effective. My score is 8 out of 10.

This independent production contains much that is good about low-budget, independent films. Every film trick in the book is thrown at the beautifully macabre, grainy locations to make this journey as unsettling as possible. It's clear the narrative isn't hugely important. The acting is often eccentric, accentuating the unreality of the mood - the staple observer, Rachel Audrey (as Cooper) turns in an often self-conscious performance, whose early bizarre grinning 'to camera' is accompanied briefly by a laughter track! Very strange.

Cooper meets up with a frightened, sick local girl played by Mari K. She speaks fearfully of The Beast. It may be the demonic force within her to which she is referring, which gives cause to a disturbing, even erotic, exhumation.

Director Cosmotropia de Xam throws everything at the audience to unnerve them, and the result is a moody, melancholy tour of some truly breathtaking locations: a study of decay.

The DVD of this art-house horror also contains 'The Contaminated Photos of Valentina Crepax' which is exactly that - a selection of images from 'Phantasmagoria' treated with all kinds of effects that blur, fracture, disintegrate, explode, evaporate and unfurl into one another. It is all grotesque and very effective.