Film Reviews by AER

Black comedies about murder are a hard thing to pull off successfully - I guess like a murder itself. Mark Addy and Charlie Creed-Miles play a dim double act of the world's worst assassins. Skint and without a clue, bullsh*t artist Frank (Addy) gets hired by his new friend Kenny (Creed-Miles) to avenge his brother who was given brain damage by a London thug a few years earlier. Witless yet funny dialogue just about sees this comedy through but ultimately it's all a bit lacklustre like the characters. In fact, it's too effective and convincing because the film farts about without a clue, just like the characters. A mixed bag.

I wanted to see what a David Ayer-directed movie starring Jason Statham would be like to see whether the former would elevate the latter into more interesting territory or whether Ayer would end up making a generic actioner. Saddled with a crappy script by Kurt Wimmer and a bunch of British actors sporting lousy American accents in support (Jeremy Irons and Jemma Redgrave take a bow), The Beekeeper is fairly generic even by Statham's standards. Stealing off the Equalizer films and a dose of John Wick too, this fails to distinguish itself at all. There is a lots of noticeable 'one-at-a-time' fighting in The Beekeeper, so it's the one on one fight scenes that count for something. Look out for some terrible acting from a South African mercenary with a false leg - it's only January (2024) and there's already a candidate for worst performance in a cinema release already!

The Beekeeper is unimaginative, and unmemorable. Statham's fourth duff movie on the trot (for me). Please come back David Ayer. I miss your LA cop movies.

Director Chris Newby only made two films to my knowledge - this and the weird and wonderful LGBTQ+ curio Madagascar Skin. Why he didn't go on to becoming one of the UK's leading filmmakers in the vein of Terence Davies is unknown. This tale of an anchoress in the East of England is full of amazing imagery, stunning sound work, and interesting / appropriate performances. A superb cast led by Natalie Morse (not sure who she is), Christopher Eccleston, Toyah Willcox, Pete Postlethwaite, Eugene Bervoets (from The Vanishing!!!), Julie T Walllace (She Devil), and Annette Badland, this is very memorable and haunting. See it if you can, there's not many films like this one.

9 out of 10 - Bewitching.

Competently made, but this is mid-level Blumouse Horror fare. A haunted swimming pool could have been interesting but this film has no good ideas of its own. The acting elevates a dumb script and a very predictable plot. Some of the scare worked and it does have a degree of atmosphere, it's just a shame it ended up being placid and ordinary.

No waves. 4 out of 10.

Considering that this was directed by Joe Carnahan who made The Grey, Smoking Aces, and Narc, this should've been something special. Instead, it's a fairly workmanlike actioner that sags in the middle. Some quirky elements like Toby Huss' hitman are memorable, and Alexis Louder is great as the heroine, yet Gerald Butler and Frank Grillo seem unimpressed by the material and just go through the numbers. It's rare to see a film where the supporting players leave the lead actors standing. It's competently made but largely forgettable. Half marks from me :)

Similar in tone to Nicolas Cage's MANDY. this sees Vince Vaughn in a brilliant role as a hard man who descends into penal hell to save his wife and unborn child. Violent doesn;t sum it up well enough. Those who have seen S Craig Zahler's BONE TOMAHAWK and DRAGGED ACROSS THE CONCRETE will know the style and pace. Well worth a look if you are onto this director. BRAWL IN CELL BLOCK 99 isn't an action film like the title might suggest, it's something else. I just don't know what. But I thought it was brilliant, and makes me want to see VV in more interesting films like this and DRAGGED ACROSS THE CONCRETE.

8 out of 10 for putting me through a bone-crunching hell

Inspired by a real-life sting operation in Australia, The Stranger changes the names and some of the circumstances to come in close to some truly disturbing characters. Sean Harris is embodiment of ordinary evil and Joel Edgerton easily matches him as the undercover cop who has to befriend him in order to gain his trust enough for him to confess to the murder of a young teenager. The poise and build up is expert and it's an upsetting film that works its spell because all the elements dovetail to create one of the darkest and disturbing films to enter into the mind of a killer. There is no violence in this film, or action. It's all in the mind. A future drama classic.

Currently this is only streaming on Netflix but hoipefully it will receive a physical DVD / Bluray / 4K release at a later date.

10 out of 10 - No qualms, mate.

Next Goal Wins is an underdog film inspired by fact. Think Cool Runnings all over again except this is soccer and the setting is American Samoa. Starring an ill-at-ease Michael Fassbender, he is amply supported by a very comfortable cast of Samoan (New Zealand-based) and Kiwi actors such as Oscar Kightley (Sione's Wedding), Rachel House (Thor 3), and David Fane (Sione's Wedding / Eagle vs Shark).... It's full of montage sequences, but I didn't care because a lot of the humour was wacky and LOL funny. It's slight material and is ultimately low-stakes but I didn't mind. Also Rhys Darby was very funny in a very small role.

Feel-good stupidity.

:)

The Thirteenth Floor has some good ideas but ultimately it's let down by huge plot holes and unsure performances. Many people will say this is a rip-off of The Matrix but in fact it was made before that behemoth stole its thunder. Thirteenth Floor was never even granted a cinema release in the UK, instead going DTV, as an afterthought when The Matrix cleaned up at the box-office. So it's unfair to call Thirteenth Floor a Matrix rip-off because it was here first, just released in former's wake (in the UK). I;m not saying it's better though. This falls a long way short, entertainment-wise and qualitywise than the world of Neo. Some elements and they are mostly visual give this some elan, like the cars racing into the desert, and a toy game of Baseball. Otherwise this clunky, and feels murdered in the edit, as it packs an awful lot of plot into its 90 min(+) running time but leaves out the emotional heft we're supposed to feel for any of the characters. Ultimately, it falls flat, wasting good supporting actors like Armin Mueller-Stahl and Vincent D'Onofrio.

One Life is a fascinating film about a humanitarian act instigated by a London stockbroker (Nicholas Winton) in the late 1930s. Despite a lack of time, endless bureaucracy, and an imminent Nazi invasion, some brave people led by Winton arranged for nearly 700 Jewish children to be moved to the UK. It's stirring stuff. Alas the film is pretty flat, with OTT supporting performances from Helena Bonham Carter, and Helen Spiro (ridiculous as Esther Rantzen). However, certain scenes led by Anthony Hopkins re particularly good, but he can't save this very average treatment of a hugely brave act by a select few. It's certainly a film to raise debate about current views to helping those in dire need. This isn't the place for political rants, but I will say that it's also a call to be kinder and a bit more worldly.

Interesting subject - flat presentation with off-beat annoying actors overdoing their bit parts.

This is Rise of the Footsoldier 6! Craig Fairbrass' signature role of the late (not so great) Pat Tate shows no sign of wilting. For this fifth sequel he goes it alone without Terry Stone (Tony Tucker) or Roland Manookian (Craig Rolfe), so there's no silly wigs to laugh at. Surely that makes it an improvement. Well, this one is probably 100% fabrication and is inspired by revenge flicks like Get Carter, The Equalizer and a dozen Liam Neeson flicks. It's better for it, but I did wonder why such decent actors as Stephen McCole and Tara Fitzgerald show up in pretty thankless supporting roles - surely life isn't that hard!? You will chuckle at the ending which revolves around a mysterious unseen character dusting down a Landrover to show no trace of fingerprints. It's like that spot the celebrity bit from A QUESTION OF SPORT as it's set to Lynard Skynard's Free Bird. The film is lame, but it gets two stars because it's an improvement on the last four films (and that's not saying much). I wonder what the real Essex Boys would say if they saw these films. Please let this be the last one - it's getting like Police Academy. Craig Fairbrass is a decent actor... Someone help him out with a good role!!! If you are a fan of his, watch MUSCLE (instead).

Also I was confused. Where in the cycle does this film sit? People that were shot to death appear at the end of the film? Is it a flashback or does this one slot in between ep, 3 and 4? Whatever.

This South Korean ghost story could have been better if it was more focussed. However, it left this viewer as bewildered and frightened as the soldiers caught in the maze of ghosts and military ordnance. The location works and the actors sell the premise well-enough but I spent too much time asking 'what just happened and to whom'. Shame as it could've been awesome.

Loved this small-scale slice of life film about a teen and his single-mum over the course of a summer break. I could really relate to the realistic humour and exchanges between Monica Dolan and Earl Cave. It may not change your world, but if you are sick of boring UK films about pensioners making mischief or Hollywood's endless parade of SFX soup films then this is what you want. It reminded me of Mike Leigh or the recent SWEETHEART (starring Jo Hartley).

Recommended.

Whilst this better than the previous Day of the Dead film starring Mena Suvari and Ving Rhames, this sequel (?) is still cheap and in search of a better plot. Whilst you're left scratching your head wondering why one of the zombies seems to be able to talk and resist the urge to feed for half the running time (there is an explanation), you're also wondering how these characters have survived so long given how stupid they are. The lead doctor Zoe (Sophie Skelton) takes huge risks at the expense of her fellow refugees in the name of science. And when a rapist zombie obsessively tracks her to the base, she finds he has the antibodies to save people from turning into a rotter. But the amount of people she gets killed, there's virtually nobody left to save. It's kinda fun though and that's because you'll probably enjoy shouting at the TV at how moronic they all are and how crap the dialogue is. Jonathon Schaeh (THAT THING YOU DO) played the rapist zombie to good effect but this one is still UnDOA.

Unlike the current Hollywood cycle of Godzilla movies, this film is lively with great action sequences. Some thought has gone into the make up of the plot and how the beleaguered Japanese took down the atomic monster, Godzilla / Gojira. Characters with convincing arcs lead the way (even though the story telling is very basic) and the script is written in broadstrokes (English subtitles). It's dramatic, the SFX are astounding at times (but not perfect), and the destruction has weight to it - so in other words, it's not as if you are watching a paper-light animation. I've seen the 90s Godzilla and the Gareth Edwards borefest. This was just right. A Godzilla film set during an interesting time and with some food for thought about post-war Japan and how it rebuilt after the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings.

This is the Godzilla film, we've been waiting for. I'm glad the Japanese have finally wrestled Godzilla back from the Americans and done it right. Something similar happened when the French made their first movie about the Three Musketeers earlier this year (2023).

7 out of 10