Rent Cassandra's Dream (2007)

A really bad, clunky "thriller" with not one thing ringing true - Cassandra's Dream review by Timmy B

After the fairly decent Match Point, Woody Allen remains in London/an East End setting for this movie. But all of the technique and storytelling deserts him for this piece of dreck.

Ewan McGregor and Colin Farrell are cast as brothers Ian and Terry. But aside from not looking particularly related, they don't behave in any way like brothers. The awkwardness which is on screen whenever they are together is almost palpable. Amusingly, the one way in which they are related though is their terrible accents. Even though in real life they are Scottish and Irish, they don't have particularly strong accents and have in the past done good accents for films.

But these East London accents are another level. We are talking Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins territory. You wonder how Allen directed this with a straight face, let alone how the studio agreed to put it out. I literally couldn't take it seriously.

But even when you get past the accents, things are still dire. Amusingly, this film was released in 2007, a year before In Bruges. In both that film and this, Colin Farrell's character has a breakdown due to horrific trauma he has endured. With In Bruges, you feel this with every fibre of your being, the pain radiating out of the screen. However, in Cassandra's Dream, it looks like he's eaten some dodgy food and got some trapped wind.

The morality tale is the standard fare, but even that is dull and boring. When an actress of the skill of Hayley Atwell can't liven up proceedings, you know you are in trouble. And as the plot gets more far fetched, you find yourself sitting back and counting not only the plot holes but the sheer stupidity. The police are shown as being utterly incompetent, to the extent that they can't even do basic investigation.

And then, the film ends, not with a bang but with a whimper. And as the credits roll, you find yourself thinking "Did that just happen? Did I just watch a group of incredible actors star in something which even Tommy Wiseau would say "This is not up to snuff."

The answer is yes, sadly.