Rent Jack and Diane (2012)

An unbelievably tedious & boring film, wasting the talents of Temple & Keough - Jack and Diane review by Timmy B

In 2011, Killer Joe was released. It was an absolutely messed up, shocking, brilliant piece of madness, revelling in the violence & sexuality of a trailer-trash American family. Whilst many people remember it for Matthew McConaughey's towering central performance (and one of the key parts of his "McConaissance" rebirthing,) for me one of the other unforgettable parts was the role of Dottie, played by Juno Temple. She was absolutely fearless in her portrayal of this naïve, feisty & sexually curious young woman. This was a part which, if there had been any self-consciousness or awkwardness, would have meant the film as a whole failed, seeing as it in many ways revolved around her character.

So when I heard about a film she shot immediately after Killer Joe, which again had a provocative & daring plot to it, I was interested. I had also heard good things about Riley Keough, so was interested to see the chemistry between the two. And finally, as this was a small-budget film, it could take more chances than one with a large budget, which to me is always where the best stories can be told. Unfortunately, any hope I had of a good watch were very quickly scotched.

This film is so bad, so boring & so dull, it almost defies any metric you measure it with. Temple plays Diane, a young woman who the story very quickly sets up as the most unreliable, forgetful & clumsy person you could ever meet. She doesn't know anything about anything, such as forgetting basic instructions which a 5 year-old could remember; everything she has or gets given (keys, phones,) she loses, and generally goes through life acting as if she needs to be in the care of an appropriate adult, using her immaturity as a get-out-of-jail-free card. It's a wonder she manages to get dressed in the morning.

One night, while going from shop to shop asking to use their phone (due to losing hers,) she meets Jack, a Tomboy who loves skateboarding & rebelling against everything in sight. There is a spark which starts between them, as they explore their new love, against the backdrop of Diane being sent to school in France at the end of the holidays.

Whilst the plot is familiar to so many coming-of-age films & can be extremely powerful if used well, that set-up, as well as everything else in this film, is totally wasted. To call Diane a tiresome & exasperating character is the understatement of the year, which only seeks to drag the narrative down even further. After a night out where they first kiss, Jack invites her back to her flat, where it is clear Jack (as well as any normal person,) expects that they will kiss again & this could lead to more... Diane seems genuinely confused & bewildered as to why she is there.

And the script's setup of Jack as a take-no-crap strong willed woman just goes out of the window when it meets this scenario: she simply would not tolerate someone acting this stupid who she is investing so much in. Later, during a scene of intimacy, Diane repeatedly stops things to ask fatuous & nonsensical questions, to which no answer Jack gives is good enough.

There is a weird subplot involving some demonic monster, who we see lurid close-ups of, which just adds to the nonsensical nature of the story. What is this? How does it relate to the story? To those questions & more, the only answer I had was: I don't care. Alongside this, the film is shot & lit terribly, again dragging everything down.

I lasted about 40 minutes, then fast-forwarded through to see if things got better... They didn't. I wasted part of my life watching this rubbish, please don't waste yours.

And finally, Juno Temple, you are worth so so much more than this piece of rubbish. When a film is so badly made & written that one of the greatest young actresses working today cannot breathe any life into it, you need to get out