Rent Les Vampires (2000)

A bad movie in almost every way - although definitely not in a good way - Les Vampires review by NK

Despite the French-looking title, this is very much an American movie, set in America and using American "talent". The picture quality (on the DVD version) is very poor - so poor that I couldn't be sure if the guy I saw having threesome sex in the first scene was the same guy coming home to his regular partner in the second scene. This is a shame as a lot of the establishing shots (or filler) are taken along the spectacular California Pacific highway. I suspect that this was shot on VHS video and transferred to DVD. The sound quality was poor - it was hard to hear the dialogue over the background music - not that the "actors" had anything much to say. The direction was inept, such that the story lumbered along. There was no tension, even when the vampire vixens turned up, no sense of dread that a horror movie needs. I doubt if any of the cast were professional actors - the acting was wooden and the delivery of the lines plodding. It starts with a soft-core sex scene, where you get to see the man's bum and the women's nipples, but it really is body-beautiful models just going through the motions. It's tame, even by the standards of American mainstream cinema, I can't comment on any gore or horror content there might have been because I gave up on the film after about twenty minutes and didn't see any - but that's twenty minutes of my life I have sacrificed so that you don't have to watch this turkey. If it's in your Watchlist, do yourself a favour and click 'remove'.