Queenpins (2021)

Queenpins review by Mark McPherson - Cinema Paradiso

You can feel the desperation in a film like Queenpins trying to amp as much of this ho-hum crime story. It seemed like such a small crime that highlights a grander problem that comes with people who struggle to make ends meet and find a place for themselves in the world. Sadly, this is not that movie. No, this is the picture that wants you to find it funny that there was a coupon scam involving some in-over-their-heads ladies who didn’t expect to go down dangerous routes of guns and inept law enforcement.

There’s some comedic talent on display here but they’re not given much to work with. Kristen Bell plays Connie Kaminski as a housewife who found comfort in saving things and finding the best deals. Seeking more out of her dull life, she teams up with another housewife, Jojo (Kirby Howell-Baptiste), to form a coupon scam. They discovered that if they complain about an issue with service, they can get a coupon from a corporation to shut them up. Well, if they keep doing it again and again, maybe they can gain more coupons. Maybe they can then sell those coupons. A scam soon forms.

While the housewives amp up their business into the millions for profit, they’re hopelessly pursued by the loser loss prevention officer Ken Mille, played by Paul Walter Hauser. Sure, Hauser is pretty skilled at playing these pathetic types of characters who can’t quite land a win but I can’t help but feel this script had to cast someone less likely to look like a loser considering how hard Hauser is pushed to look like the guy who takes his job too seriously but is never taken seriously. He’s paired up to work with U.S. postal inspector Simon Kilmurry, played by Vince Vaughn, to be a mismatched duo who someone managed to investigate and bring the two women to justice.

If the film was meant to be a comedy, it’s either the driest or most dead of comedy that always feels as though it’s failing to land a laugh. The coupon scheme itself is pretty clever and it’s a scam that has the potential for funny scenes, ranging from awkward wordplay to explosive slapstick. And none of it works. It really does feel as though the actors are locked into another improved picture where they’re given the scenario but expected to come up with the jokes on their own. It’s almost like the actors were just thrown half a script and told to make with the funny. They try but I doubt even the most accomplished of improv actors could make lemonade from this lemon.

Queenpins has all the right ingredients to make for a solid crime comedy but misses the mark so much that it’s more of a gutterball. Yes, I know the Queenpins title is a play on the term kingpins but it makes me think of bowling. I dunno, maybe it’d be funnier if the women ran a bowling hall with corrupt intent. I’m sure there are at least some more jokes in there than the mere referencing of the grocery store and consumer culture with tired takes that wouldn’t have been funny in the 2000s.