Rent The War with Grandpa (2020)

The War with Grandpa (aka Roomies) review by Mark McPherson - Cinema Paradiso

How? Just how could a PG film with Robert De Niro be far worse than his vulgar exploits in the R-rated Dirty Grandpa? It seems an impossible feat. Dirty Grandpa featured De Niro as a grandpa who talked constantly about having sex, grabbed men by the taint, and would fart loudly in public. I found it to be one of the worst films of 2016 and didn’t think the iconic actor could go any lower. And yet he does in The War with Grandpa. The good news is that it isn’t a continuation of Dirty Grandpa. The bad news is that it’s far worse.

De Niro plays Ed, an aged elder of all the old stereotypes and jokes. He’s bad with people, can’t understand technology, and becomes irrationally violent when confronted by meek 40-year-old adults. Her daughter Sally, played by Uma Thurman, insists that he come with her family. He’s reluctant as he realizes he just aggravates his family. But, in truth, he really doesn’t. He may be baffled by modernism but he’s not the least bit hostile or condescending towards his cute and youngest granddaughter or his indifferent teenage granddaughter. The middle grandchild, Peter, however, has it out for grandpa. In order to accommodate grandpa staying with them, Peter is forced out of his bedroom and into the attic. Seeing this as an act of imperialism, Peter declares a prank war on grandpa. And Ed treats this as a real war with proper protocols and everything.

This would’ve just been a mild and forgettable bit of slapstick annoyance. It follows all the hallmarks. Doors fall off hinges, De Niro falls out windows, dudes are hit in the balls, and faces fall in cakes. One prank will go too far and they’ll call off their battle, learning to love each other. All the beats are there. But where this premise goes horribly, horribly wrong is when this narrative decides it actually wants to make a point about imperialism and war. And considering Tim Hill’s penchant for mindless comedies with no real ideas floating past the physical, this ain’t the film to make such a declaration, chief!

This comedy functions as though it was supposed to be pointless drek and one amateur writer having brushed up on some history decided to add a little something insightful to the script. But it is hammered in with embarrassing bluntness and staged as though Peter really did learn a lesson about war. You didn’t learn any of that! You just learned that it’s probably a stupid idea to cause structural damage to your own household because a relative moved in and that if you simply talked this out this whole premise would be a non-issue. The story doesn’t harp too much on imperialism and thank goodness because if Peter said he knew what the Native Americans felt like, I’m pretty sure this film would receive far more attention for its hair-brained rhetoric than it’ll ever deserve.

There’s an added dose of depression in this film for who is roped into the nonsense. Christopher Walken and Cheech Marin are trotted out as elderly manchildren for gags so dull I’m sure they slept through this film. Rob Riggle, an actor who can never escape that role of a suburban dad, is so woefully ignored by his family, his job, and the narrative that it’s really sad. His only addition to the comedy is he has to constantly stumble on De Niro in the nude and scream while staring at his penis. I’m not joking, this is his only a bit. And why, why, why would you dig up Jane Seymour for an absolutely thankless role? Her only addition is that she serves as another soldier of Ed’s elderly team he assembles to beat down on Peter in a match of trampoline dodgeball, taking place at a trampoline establishment I’m sure was advertised in there but my brain shut off to avoid being a victim to this picture’s marketing ploy.

I did not expect much from The War with Grandpa. I knew about half the jokes headed my way, including the cringe ones where Walken does slapstick and shouts “epic.” What I didn’t count on was this film’s absolute fumbling of a theme it can’t handle and shouldn’t tackle. Here’s a good rule of thumb: If your film features a lot of penis and fart jokes with lots of slapstick and a family-aimed sense of humor, chances are it’s not the best place to bring American exceptionalism and the horrors of war. Such themes can be better served without outright stating them as this film feels the need to do while a kid plays Home Alone on De Niro.