Rent Rings (2017)

Rings (aka The Ring 3) review by Mark McPherson - Cinema Paradiso

The best ghost stories work when you don’t have to think too hard about the mechanics of otherworldly spirits. Ring was very much a horror movie of its time, a last gasp of mystery from the VHS generation that still had some mystery for a cursed VHS tape. But now a director wishes to bring Ring into the age of digital files and streaming content. Questions that used to be laughs of overanalysis are now present in a movie that brings up new areas to discover and then never capitalizes on them. This isn’t the 2017 version of Ring; this is the 2008 version. But even if it were released back then, it’d still appear as out-of-date, lacking in scares and technologically illiterate as it does today.

Most of the rules remain the same. Samara’s tape of random spooky imagery will haunt the souls of those who view it for seven days before Samara emerges from the television to kill you. One can avoid the curse by copying the video and passing it onto someone else. But in the age of digital files, it’s now easier than ever to both watch the video and copy it for someone else to watch. The same rules on VHS work for movie files as well, but this brings up more questions about file formats, file size, encryptions and editing of the footage. I don’t want to think about these things, but the movie forces you to when the file can no longer be copied with Error 7777777 (get it?) and can still be edited for some reason.

The old tape is rediscovered by a college teacher (Johnny Galecki) who experiences Samara’s power first-hand and escapes her grasp. Intrigued by potentially making contact with the spirit world, his response is to create a special college project for students to take part in, believing he can unlock the secrets of the afterlife. The students watch the video, document what they see and copy the video for someone else to see. Why would students want to risk their lives for such a project? It could be they’re that intrigued by Samara or that the teacher is offering them an easy out from exams. Or it could be a ridiculous club setting he has created for his subjects where they can drink, listen to loud music and keep track of their seven days till death with counters on television screens. This club is located on a secret level of a college campus building, mind you, bringing up even further questions.

Julia (Matilda Lutz) stumbles onto this project when searching for her missing boyfriend Holt (Alex Rose). He didn’t want her to get involved, but it’s too late for that. She witnesses another student meet their ends at the hands of Samara and decides to sacrifice herself for Holt by watching his copy. But when Julia tries to copy the file, the computer won’t allow her to and the only way to stop Samara’s curse is to find her. One source of clues is the copy she watched which contains new images intercut in the footage that can be brought into Final Cut Pro and edited together. But, wait, if the footage can be brought into Final Cut Pro, why wouldn’t she just export a new version and make someone watch that copy? Or does Samara’s curse have special codec encryption? Or is it exclusive to Macs? See how messy this story is getting?

The movie opens up such a can of worms, only to shut it fast to favor the standard hunt for a body to lay a spirit to rest. Julia and Holt find themselves traveling to sleepy country to find out more about the spooky girl and uncover her body. Hallucinations and freaky visions occur throughout their journey as Julia slowly pulls back the layers of Samara’s buried pass. The scares are nothing all that scary (especially for being the most tired of jump-scares) and the mystery itself has all the mystique and tension of a Scooby Doo mystery. Actually, I take that back; Scooby Doo had more unique characters. There is almost zero character established for Julia outside of her use of Skype and her love of her boyfriend’s shirts. Lutz doesn’t have much to work with, but she doesn’t even perform well with what she is given, pointing things out that she sees to her boyfriend as though she were speaking with someone who was deaf and blind. Holt is a blank canvas as well and his college teacher is so boring with exposition. Every single thing in this movie revolves around understanding and finding Samara. Everybody loves Samara despite her having the least amount of screentime.

Samara can apparently enter through more than just televisions now. In the digital age, she can enter our world through smartphones, computer monitors and even radar screens. But, wait, there are so many other electronic screens she could pass through; drive-thru displays, fridges and billboards. What would happen if Samara exited a billboard as a giant ghost that crushes your soul? That’s a silly sight, but is it any more silly than having Samara rise out of a phone or crawl out of a radar screen?

And what of the internet? How does Samara work if her video can be shared dozens of times online? Sorry, but that scenario will not be answered until Rings: Viral and even then I can’t guarantee such questions will be answered.