Rent The Goonies (1985)

More ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ than ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ - The Goonies review by HW

Watching this 80s classic felt like riding a really cheesy, nostalgic theme park ride. It’s a shame this fun movie was mostly filmed in dark (but imaginative) sets of booby-trapped caves with cheesy props. Nevertheless this movie is still a celebration of classic adventure, as a bunch of loveable 80s kids (you can see where ‘Stranger Things’ pinched the dynamic for their characters from) go on a good old-fashioned treasure hunt (although surely the scriptwriters knew what they were doing when they named the treasure’s owner One-Eyed Willy). It was fun to watch young versions of recognisable actors like Josh Brolin and a wide-eyed Samwise Gamgee. I also liked the very Italian villains and the building bromance between my favourite characters, Chunk and Sloth. 

Like watching an episode of Scooby Doo without the close attention to character development - The Goonies review by KW

A group of really loud and annoying teenagers who live by the sea improbably discover a treasure map in the attic of their soon-to-be-demolished home and set off in search of lost loot pursued through oddly well-lit underground caverns by the Fratelli family of gangsters.

I was 17 when this came out and I stayed away because it seemed too loud and brash. It really is too, and the temptation to turn off in the first few minutes bordered on overpowering, largely because Corey Feldman and Jeff Cohen seem to be locked in a game of trying to out-funny each other. The trouble for me was that they played their roles as funny. They might as well have looked into the camera and said "Aren't I hilarious?" and I could have answered back that I have seen funnier performances on the ten o'clock news. A brief dip into the blu-ray commentary in which all 7 principal actors appear, reveals that actually they were playing themselves. I managed 3 minutes of commentary before I could stand no more.

Fortunately, the action soon hots up and the irritating hysterics are easier to take in the land of pirates and buried treasure to which we are headed. As a film, this sits somewhere between cinema and theme park ride - none of these characters are anything but types and we are not really being asked to care about them as people but simply go along for the ride. It's like watching an episode of Scooby Doo but without the close attention to character development (sidebar - Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated, the series that ran for two seasons from 2010 is genius).

Perhaps the appearance of the rubber-faced Sloth character helped me a long because despte everything, I enjoyed The Goonies. I don't like people talking whilst movies is on, but if you're watching at home that might actually help with the first half hour, after which the Goonies is a fairly enjoyable, entirely derivative romp.