Rent La La Land (2016)

Has Mark McPherson ever actually seen a musical? - La La Land review by JK

Over many years of film watching I have been known to say "This was probably the worst film I have ever seen." La La Land was just such an occasion. Almost everything about it annoyed me; The opening number was hardly Buzby Berkley - it's hard to look elegant jumping over a car bonnet and for all the ceaseless repetition of the chorus hook line - "Another Day Of.....schuwmmnnnmmmm", it was impossible to hear what they were saying. How come I can get an old 1940's or 30's film and be able to understand every word yet with all the technology at their disposal we were either straining to hear mumbled songs and speeches but deafened when it came to sound effects?

Neither character appeared to be able to sing or dance with any proficiency and neither of them appeared to even like each other - the chemistry wasn't just wrong it was non-existent. Apparently, Ryan Gosling 'actually learned to play the piano' to add to the authenticity. Well done Ryan. If you were in a Western you would probably have had to learn to sit on a horse.

I lost track of the plot about ten minutes in and really didn't care anyway - I was too busy being cross. Seemingly, in La La Land, four girls who work as waitresses and baristas whilst they await their big acting break can afford to live in a 20 room apartment, have a complete wardrobe of primary-coloured dresses and spend much of their time necking expensive cocktails in nightclubs with Olympic swimming pools. I suppose this was at least an example of the fairytale disbelief we were supposed to be immersing ourselves in.

The worst part for me was the whole premis that whatever-his-name-was (the male character) had high musical principles and was refusing to compromise his 'art' even if it meant he wasn't able to pay for the flat, the car, the clothes, the nights out etc. he seemed to be able to afford. He goes to his old job, warned by the manager not to play "any of that wild stuff" but to stick to the Xmas carols as a festive token to all the plebs who weren't listening anyway. Then he launches into "Jazz". What he launched into was a sanitised version of jazz whilst invoking names of jazz musicians 'ordinary people' may possibly have heard of to make it appear authentic. This movie is to Jazz what Ludivico Einaudi is to classical music. He then does "sell out" to play in what looked like Emerson Lake and Palmer meets Earth Wind and Fire sound-alike band.

What really beggars belief is how this totally underwhelming film in every way won so many plaudits? The sound was awful. The music was instantly forgettable. The colours were garish - I thought it was a take on the 1950's until she appeared on a mobile 'phone.... and there was nothing that didn't make me wish both protagonists wouldn't accidentally soft-shoe over the edge of a cliff.

Dire Muzakal - La La Land review by Alphaville

If you like Mama Mia, for reasons best kept to yourself, you might even like this. Who knows? Who cares? The pre-titles dance sequence is well choreographed but to the most dire non-song you’ve ever heard. It’s downhill from thereon, with increasingly amateur hoofing to muzak of which even an elevator would be ashamed. At least Mama Mia had some ABBA tunes to ruin.

There’s even some bad jazz. The hero tries to explain his love of jazz to our heroine, which only succeeds in confirming a jazz-hater’s worst suspicions about it. Our heroine, meanwhile, is into the film business, hence the film’s Oscars (Hollywood loves to stroke itself).

One star for competent camerawork and production values. West Side Story it ain’t. Cabaret it ain’t.

I can't believe this won any oscars! - La La Land review by EP

This film was highly disappointing, the score, which should have lifted the rather predictable and boring narrative, was like lift music, Let it Go in Frozen has more to be admired! This failure of music originality and verve is made even more ironic by the main characters love of jazz! Ha! How could a character who loves jazz sing such wet, lack lustre songs! Not enough dancing, not enough of the narrative drive, we were either in scenes too long once having been given the message or sciences or aspects of the characters life that were engaging - Emma stones excellent audition pieces - weren't given enough space. Even my eleven year old could predict what was going to happen next and after an hour we had to send it home we were so bored! Why does everyone love this film so much?????

Boring, not worth the time to watch, no emotional contact with the viewers. - La La Land review by JE

After all the hype, very disappointed with La La Land. With a cast of hundreds, told me nothing. One of those films that was made for the pleasure of the film industry.

Awards? How? - La La Land review by NP

I'm afraid to say this film was so poor, it's not even worth watching to see just how poor!

Boy meets girl, they have a sing and a dance, break up suddenly, meet by chance a bit later and wonder what if. The End.

If you have had the misfortune to watch this and like me are left wondering how it got so showered in gongs, just remember that the people who handed them out, also live in La La Land.

Disappointing - La La Land review by JT

After all the hype from the so-called film critics, I was extremely disappointed with this film. The two leads (particularly Gosling) have poor vocals and can do only basic dancing which just doesn't flow. The supporting cast wasn't too good either, with inappropriate dubbing. Has Hollywood forgotten how to make a good musical?

Oh really! - La La Land review by BE

Seen at the cinema. I found the movie really boring and with Ryan Gosling still presenting as one of the most bland actors ever to have come out of Hollywood. There is total lack of chemistry betwixt himself and Emma Stone and I've no idea why it was nominated for an Oscar - good job it was snatched back after 8 seconds! One star for effort but what a waste of time.