Rent Torpedo: U-235 (2019)

Absolutely awful! - Torpedo: U-235 review by ML

An absolulety dire film in every way - virtually everything that happens in it verges from the ridiculous to the plain stupid, the acting is appalling, the dialog is laughable, and just to finish it off completely the only language option available is dubbed english which is terrible - imagine a cross between a bad 60's spaghetti western and Allo Allo and you're somewhere close, it really is that bad. I have a pretty high tolerance for poor films but this isn't even a 'so bad it's good' film - it's just truly awful, don't waste your time on it, you'll regret it!

Ruined by English dubbing - Torpedo: U-235 review by Alphaville

An old-fashioned WW2 submarine film, ruined by being dubbed into English for morons, which destroys all sense of realism and involvement. The Belgian trailer shows what it might have been, but the original language Belgian version is not available on the DVD.

After an impressive above-ground (and wordless) action opening, there’s little here anyway but a Boys Own adventure with heroic resistance fighters and dastardly Germans. The main plot involves transporting uranium in a stolen Nazi U-boat and the claustrophobic underwater scenes are a clichéd bore you’ve seen a hundred times before. It might be better in the original language version, but probably not much.

Atrociously Dubbed Low-Budget U-boat Hokum from Belgium - Torpedo: U-235 review by PV

I wanted to like this, I really did. I was on TEAM TORPEDO-235 before I pressed play. When I did, the first horror was the atrocious dubbing. WHY NO OPTION for the original language with subtitles? The only way to watch foreign films imho.

A vaguely Indiana Jones-style silly Nazi plot tentatively featuring Africa and the Congo, and with words used in dialogue sometimes that would give BBC/UK/KAFTA wokiedokies conniptions. and cause them lifelong trauma no doubt. Fine, I have no issue with racial words in dialogue - it is realistic. I have no issue with silly fantasy plots - many movies have them. It is how the plot is enacted and realised that is the issue here.

This is a short film but I found my mind wandering and my eyes looking at my watch.

Obviously low-budget and aimed at the US straight-to-DVD market, with some absurd endpiece which btw has NO basis in historical fact.

Try watching Oppenheimer (the 1980 TV series is WAY better than the over-rated recent movie) or DAS BOOT - all versions - to see how a submarine chase drama can be done.

2 stars