Rent Fast and Furious 9 (2021)

Car crash of a film No 9 - Fast and Furious 9 review by Alphaville

It opens with a car crash followed by a cloying family scene. Yep, it’s the same old story. There’s a new mission afoot, but Vin doesn’t want to do it. Who’d have thought? But wait a minute – drum roll – he’s changed his mind! What a relief, otherwise there’d be no No. 9.

With plot and dialogue as pathetic as ever, FF through it all and cut to the car chases. The first is the best. Bog-standard crashes and explosions of course, but it’s filmed in Thailand with some sweeping drone shots and even a new stunt. Yay! The second chase is set in a mythical Hollywood version of Edinburgh that will at least amuse anyone who knows the city. The third and final chase is filmed in Georgia and is a real anti-climax. Everything in this film is by-the-numbers, but cut to the chases and you might grab half-an-hour of stupid fun.

Just gets worse - Fast and Furious 9 review by GB

If you're a huge fan of this franchise then my review won't alter your opinion that this is a masterpiece. If however, like me, you sit on the fringe and have enjoyed Fast 5 or Hobbs and Shaw then you'll probably sit in disbelief about just how stupid this film is.

The stunts have always been ridiculous, but this constant need to "out do" the last film means that stupidity has replaced any semblance of realism. There has also been a (very bad in my opinion) press towards CGI replacing real cars due to the extreme nonsense of the physics. This lean towards it means that the main driver (no pun intended) for watching the movie has become a completely and obviously fake environment. It renders driving scenes risk free and many scenes show actors in studios against green screen. One scene involving Diesel swinging his car on a pendulum from a destroyed bridge (whilst he "steers" whilst swinging) just made me wanna smash the TV with a sledgehammer.

Plot wise it's it's complete mess. I don't suppose we are expecting Citizen Kane levels of depth in a FF movie but this makes FF5 look like Oscar bait.

The other big problem is Diesel who is simply a very very bad actor. He has no screen presence anymore and simply wanders from scene to scene looking like he's constipated. The whole crowbarring in of conversations about "family" are just so clichéd these days they literally make you groan when you hear them. I read an interview where Diesel talked about how fans love the "mythology" of FF movies which tells you how far up his own backside he is. Mythology? Come on Vin you must be the only one using that word in relation to FF movies.

The introduction of Cena does not bring the same level of presence that Dwayne Johnson or Jason Statham did in earlier movies. Charlize Theron just looks embarrassed, and Helen Mirren as an "Octogenarian Drift Driver" is about as believable as a Roswell alien reading the news.

Absolute pile of tosh!

More Of The Same.....Mostly - Fast and Furious 9 review by GI

Big, bold, macho and downright silly this edition to the 20 year + franchise pushes the boundaries into the realms of the ridiculous but, of course, it's all entertaining and mostly great fun. The main trouble is that it's getting harder to distinguish one film from the other. The crew are all reunited to retrieve a gizmo weapon that is coveted by various baddies with the main reveal here being one of them is Dom's (Vin Diesel) baby brother, Jakob (John Cena) who have been estranged since the death of their father. So we get the backstory and flashbacks intermixed with the new mission as these basically street racers take on another super covert mission across the globe. There's plenty of gritty chases in various cities and a minefield, all of which stretch credibility to the limit not least the trip into space to disable a satellite; there's the usual stares either longingly or hatefully in the midst of the action and all the cameos pop up including Kurt Russell, Helen Mirren, Jason Statham (in an end credit sequence), Charlize Theron and Michael Rooker. And the obligatory family barbecue at the end just to remind you which franchise you are watching. This series has a huge fanbase and as effects laden action adventure goes it delivers. What we need now is something fresher and I must say I enjoyed the 2019 Hobbs & Shaw spin off much better than this rehash of the F & F plots of old.